Jaded Confessions
by card digi
Summary: Some oneshots about Sesshomaru and Rin from the time that they first met to post canon. A look at how their relationship evolves into something more. Chpt 18: Sesshomaru catches his son engaging in some unbecoming behavior.
1. Rin

**A/N: This is my first fanfic, so needless to say I'm pretty nervous about putting it up. I may continue with this idea/story or I may not. It just depends. . . I don't own Inuyasha.**

How long was she planning on following him? Furthermore, how long was she planning on following him without speaking? Normally Sesshomaru loved the silence; something that Jaken was usually oblivious too, but for some reason it had been bothering him ever since he had heard the little girl following after him.

All he wanted to know was her name. For now. He had asked - well more like ordered - her to tell him several times, and each time she would just look at him and smile. That smile did funny things to him; no one smiled at him the way she did, not even his mother. When the girl smiled, it was like she was smiling with her whole body, not just the muscles of her face. That smile had been one of the reasons that he had listened to Tenseiga and brought her back to life. Sesshomaru sighed internally and looked up at the sky. Night was falling.

He had learned in the week that the girl had been following him that she needed more rest than himself and Jaken, so he began looking for a place to set up camp for the night.

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><p>By the next day Sesshomaru was so annoyed that he was seriously considering killing Jaken. Sure the girl smelled, she was human and all humans smelled. But it wasn't anywhere near as bad as the toad was making it out to be. Actually, Sesshomaru thought, she didn't smell half bad for a human. But Jaken had been complaining about everything the girl had been doing ever since she had joined their little group, so Sesshomaru shouldn't have been surprised that the imp was at it once again.<p>

"Really Lord Sesshomaru, why can't we just dump her off in some human village, or better yet in some river . . . ?" Jaken asked his lord. The only person that Sesshomaru felt like dumping in a river was Jaken. He was wondering to himself for the millionth time, just why the toad was still living, when he felt something tug at his pant leg.

It was the girl, she had grabbed at his pant leg to get his attention. Seeing the girl touching his master so freely set Jaken off on another round of berating that was quickly cut off by a glare from Sesshomaru.

Looking down at the small upturned face, Sesshomaru once again felt a wave of frustration wash over him. He knew she could talk because she had decided to name his beast Ah-Un, if you could call that a name. But apparently ah and un were the only words she could say at the moment. Sesshomaru reminded himself once more to be patient; he was very good at that. After all, he had been searching for his father's grave for a good one hundred years and had never once lost his temper. So he had a tendency to kill people if they didn't do what he told them to do the first time he told them, that did not mean that he was impatient - at least not in his eyes.

The girl seemed to be searching his eyes for something, what he didn't know, but apparently she found it because she let go off his pant leg and walked quietly back to Ah-Un. Curious beyond belief Sesshomaru watched her climb back onto the two-headed beast. She had wanted to ask him something, he was sure off it. Damn it, he was losing his patience. He would give her three more days to play the silent game before dumping her in the next human village they came to.

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><p>Later on that day, the party of four was taking a brief rest in a meadow. Sesshomaru was a huge fan of afternoon naps, and was currently indulging in one under a large tree at the edge of the meadow. Jaken was supposed to be looking after the girl, but since when did Jaken ever do anything right; he was leaning against Ah-Un sleeping as well, so it wasn't that difficult for the girl to slip away from her companions unnoticed. At least she thought that it was unnoticed, but Sesshomaru watched from lowered lids as she walked away. Where was she going, he wondered to himself.<p>

After thirty minutes of searching, the girl found what she was looking for: a hot spring. It didn't really bother her if the toad thought she smelled, but she didn't want her savior to think that she smelled as well. As she peeled of her clothes and looked down at her dirt caked skin, she realized that cleaning herself could take a while. Sighing heavily, the girl began the tedious task of cleaning both herself and her clothes.

More than an hour had passed since the girl had left the clearing and Sesshomaru was beginning to worry. He knew that all of the demons in the area were currently hiding, because they sensed a powerful demon in their wake, but still . . . the girl had been gone for a long time. Sesshomaru closed his eyes once more, and tried to get some much needed rest.

Just as he realized that it was useless and was about to go searching for her, Sesshomaru heard the girl approaching the clearing. At least he thought it was her, she smelled different. Before her scent had always been vague and dirty, hidden by all the dirt and grime that covered her but now . . . it was very floral, very sweet. Sesshomaru decided that he liked this scent. It was amazing; he had never known that humans could smell so pleasant.

Not long after, the girl entered the clearing completely naked; her wet kimono draped over one arm. Seeing that her lord and the imp were still asleep, she silently congratulated herself on her accomplishment. Now that toad won't have anything to complain about anymore she thought as she walked into the middle of the clearing to lay out her kimono to dry.

Sesshomaru watched as the young girl lay down in the grass and promptly feel asleep. He was thinking about something that was obviously causing him some distress, though one would never know just by looking at him. The girl had obviously gone through the trouble of cleaning herself for him and Jaken. It would be a shame for her to put that disgusting excuse for a kimono back on again. But he never gave people things if he could help it, besides it might give her the wrong idea. Just look at Jaken, Sesshomaru gave him the Staff of Two Heads and Jaken suddenly thought he was privy to his every thought. But then again, the girl was just a child, she would probably just see it as a gift, not take it as a sign that he was suddenly in love with her as most women would. On and on it went back and forth, until Sesshomaru finally came to a decision.

Mind made up, he picked up a rock and threw it at Jaken's head. Who told the toad that he could sleep, he was supposed to be watching the girl not indulging in the sleep of the dead. The imp woke with a loud shout. "Jaken," Sesshomaru said in his do-what-I-say-now voice.

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><p>When the girl woke, the sun was setting. Panicking, she quickly sat up and frantically searched the meadow for her companions. She immediately relaxed when she saw Lord Sesshomaru leaning up against a tree.<p>

"Here," said Jaken, rudely shoving a box in her face and interrupting her staring session of the beautiful dog demon. Turning to the little imp the girl took the box, opened it and gasped when she saw what was inside. It was a beautiful orange and yellow silk kimono. She looked back at the imp, who promptly shouted at her to put it on. After she had obliged him, she looked once more toward her lord. She knew that he was the one who had gotten it for her; she had a feeling Jaken wouldn't know what nice was if it was staring him in the face.

Sesshomaru was in a deep meditating session when he heard the girl come up to his side. Opening his eyes, he looked her over with approval; it wouldn't do to have someone - human or otherwise - following after him in nothing but rags. "Thank you," his musings were interrupted by a low gravelly voice. Did she just speak? "Thank you Lord Sesshomaru," the girl said again.

Sesshomaru stared at her for a while digesting the fact that she had finally broken her silence.

"Since you seem to have finally recovered your voice, you will tell me your name girl," Sesshomaru said.

"It's Rin, my lord," the girl - no Rin - replied.

Rin, he liked it.


	2. Laughter

**A/N: Here's chapter two. Thanks to those who reviewed – it really made my day. This chapter is a little longer than the first, but that's just because I had so much fun writing it ( ^ ^). So I hope you enjoy and review.**

**I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters within it.**

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><p>Sesshomaru was feeling strangely peaceful at the moment. He was leaning against a tree while Rin frolicked in the small pond they had come across an hour earlier.<p>

He had left Rin with Jaken for a few days after hearing about a disturbance along the borders of his land. Apparently the problem had been going on for quite some time, or else Sesshomaru wouldn't have been bothered. He had received numerous reports about the unrest that had that part of the country in its grip, but had put off dealing with it until it was absolutely necessary. That point had come just a few days earlier, when a letter - written by his mother no less - had made its way to him via demon carrier.

The letter told Sesshomaru to get his sorry behind to the border or else prepare himself for her wrath. That's right she had actually threatened to track him down herself. It was that more than anything that spurred him to action. As much as Sesshomaru loved his mother, he loved her in small doses. Preferably after at least a month's mental preparation, because his mother was a handful no matter what day it was. If she had shown up without notice, Sesshomaru had no doubt that he would've had a headache for the next year. So he left without further ado, telling Jaken to watch his ward.

Rin had blossomed under his cold and aloof care. Sesshomaru found that fact more than just mildly bewildering because he didn't know the first thing about caring for a child, let alone a human one. But then, Rin didn't need a whole lot of coddling for which he was grateful. She was quite independent actually. Sesshomaru put it down to being orphaned and thus fending for herself at such a young age.

Sesshomaru open his eyes just in time to see Rin come to the shore and forcibly drag Jaken into the pond. Jaken protested shrilly until Sesshomaru ordered him to humor the girl. Kami knew he wouldn't do it. Jaken stopped complaining - loudly that is - and did what his lord commanded of him much to Rin's delight.

Yes, she had most definitely blossomed. When he'd first allowed her to follow him, she had been unable to speak; now her childishly sweet voice could be heard without the slightest provocation. When he'd first allowed her to follow him, she had been practically skin and bones; now her face held the healthy glow of one who ate on a regular basis. When he'd first allowed her to follow him, she had been dressed in nothing but rags; now she wore a kimono made of the finest silk. What's more the haunted, untrusting look that used to be in her eyes was gone.

Rin was pulling Jaken deeper and deeper into the water. She had eaten just a few hours ago, and was still full of energy. Eventually Rin went out too far, and tried to use Jaken as some sort of floatation device until she got her bearings. Once she'd recovered from her little scare she let the imp go, impervious to the fact that she had almost drowned him. Jaken swam back to the shore muttering about ungrateful brats while Rin continued swimming in the pond.

Sesshomaru, who caught the whole near drowning experience from start to finish, was practically smirking as he watched his servant climb out of the water. Jaken was still angry at almost being drowned by a human girl and wasn't watching said human girl, to make sure no harm came to her. But then again, Lord Sesshomaru was watching her, so there was no real reason why Rin needed him to watch over her too, Jaken thought angrily as he stomped over to Ah-Un.

Sesshomaru turned his gaze back to Rin and saw that she was currently doggy paddling in the water. He had to fight down the urge to laugh.

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><p>The next day Sesshomaru and his followers were in a meadow waiting for Rin to find some food so that they could continue on their way. Once Rin returned, Sesshomaru decided that they would stay in the meadow for a while. He was feeling lazy today, and it wasn't like he was going to magically catch a whiff of Naraku's scent when he had yet to do so in the month or so of searching. Besides he'd found a particularly comfortable spot under a magnificent oak tree and wasn't too eager to move.<p>

When Rin realized they would be staying in the clearing for a while, she began picking flowers, while sneaking covert glances at Lord Sesshomaru. She wanted to play, but she didn't want to play with Jaken or Ah-Un. Lord Sesshomaru never played with her, heck he never even touched her unless it was absolutely necessary. Rin sighed and continued to pick flowers while gathering the courage to ask her lord if he would play with her.

Courage in hand, Rin approached Lord Sesshomaru as silently as possible, in the event that he was sleeping. Sesshomaru heard her coming and opened his eyes; he fixed her with his trademark blank face.

"Um . . . Lord Sesshomaru, I – I was wondering," she began in a weak voice. Rin coughed before continuing, this time stronger, "Lord Sesshomaru, would you play with me please?"

Sesshomaru just looked at Rin. He looked at her for such a long time that Rin actually started to get nervous, and was seriously reconsidering withdrawing her request, when he replied. "What did you have in mind?"

Rin was so excited that he was at least considering playing with her that she felt like her whole body would burst. What _did_ she want to play with him? She knew that she could never play any of the games that she had seen other girls playing in her old village . . . So what could she play with him? To be honest, Rin just wanted to spend some time with him by herself; she could care less what they did. But she also knew that he wouldn't partake in anything that he considered beneath him.

Sesshomaru watched as his young ward thought about what she wanted to do. He thought that she would have at least known what she wanted to play before bothering him. Finally she looked up from her thoughts, "Can you teach me how to use a sword?"

Sesshomaru raised a brow at this. Why did the girl need to know how to use a sword?

It was almost as if Rin heard his thoughts because she said, "I know that I probably won't ever need to use a sword, but you wouldn't play with me if I wanted to do something girly."

This was one of the reasons why Sesshomaru liked Rin. She had to be one of the smartest humans he'd ever come across. What's more, she seemed to have an innate sense about what would please him and what wouldn't. He definitely would not have participated in anything remotely "girly" as she so aptly put it. "Go find a suitable stick Rin," he said.

After an hour or so, Rin had mastered the basics of swordsmanship. Sesshomaru was actually surprised by how quickly she'd caught on. The whole time he'd been instructing her, she had given him her utmost attention - which was no different than usual - but she seemed determined to do her best for him. Sesshomaru decided that it was time for Rin to put all she had learned into practice. He wouldn't fight her though. Looking around the clearing Sesshomaru spotted Jaken, who was leaning against a large rock asleep.

Five minutes later Rin was preparing for her first "duel" with Master Jaken. Jaken was muttering angrily under his breath, while tenderly prodding the bump that was rapidly forming on his head; Sesshomaru was giving Rin last minute reminders before her fight. The first two rounds went very well. Jaken knew he would be dead if he deliberately hurt Rin. Rin took on a very determined look - which looked more adorable than intimidating on her small face - each time she and Master Jaken's "swords" clashed. Sesshomaru stood watching his pupil with a huge sense of pride. Rin might just turn out to be one hell of a fighter if she continued down this path.

It was during the third match that all chaos broke loose. Sesshomaru gave the word to begin the duel. After about a minute, Rin was clearly winning. She had backed Jaken up against a tree. Jaken, in a bid that was more self-defense than anything, parried Rin's next strike, pushed her back and ran around her while she struggled to regain her footing. But Rin never regained her footing and fell backwards on the fleeing imp as he was trying to get around her. Jaken, understandably winded, shouted at Rin to get off him and gave her a good whack on the head with the Staff of Two Heads just in case she didn't hear him. Rin, not taking too kindly to being hit for something she couldn't control, hit Jaken back. The only problem was that she swung the stick too hard. Not only did she manage to send Jaken crashing into the tree that he had previously been backed into, but she also managed to hit herself quite hard with her stick as well.

Jaken was unconscious, Rin's eyes were quickly filling up with tears and Sesshomaru was watching with the same stoic demeanor he always wore. But inside something was struggling to get out. Sesshomaru slowly raised his right hand to his mouth to cover the smile that was threatening to break lose, before turning away and heading for the forest. He wasn't going to make it. A chuckle escaped and before Sesshomaru knew what was happening he was laughing so hard he could hardly stand up straight.

Rin looked up at the sound and quickly made her way to Lord Sesshomaru's side, kicking a still unconscious Jaken in the head in the process. Sesshomaru had just gotten himself under control again when he felt Rin tugging on his pants. He looked down into her face, which was currently staring at him through eyes that were even larger than usual. He promptly lost it again. He knew that he probably shouldn't laugh at her, but that had to be one of the funniest things he'd seen in some time . . . the look on her face when Jaken hit her . . . the way she'd sent Jaken flying . . . and how in the hell did she manage to hit herself in the head?

Rin pinched herself to make sure that she wasn't dreaming. First Lord Sesshomaru had agreed to play with her, then he'd spent over an hour with just her, and now he was laughing. She quickly decided this was one of the best days of her young life. His laugh was so warm and deep and rich. And his smile . . . Rin lost her train of thought just looking at it.

"I'm sorry Rin, I shouldn't have laughed at you. Are you hurt?" he asked belatedly, once he had gotten all of the laughter out of his system.

"No. I'm fine, and you can laugh at me whenever you want to Lord Sesshomaru," Rin replied, knowing that he wouldn't, knowing that she had witnessed something that probably only happened once in a lifetime

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><p>Later on that day as they sat around a campfire, Jaken was cursing every god under the sky.<p>

By the time he'd come to, Sesshomaru had gotten himself in hand again and was back to his normal stoic self. But Rin wasted no time in gently teasing the imp about what he had missed out on.

Jaken still couldn't figure out if she was lying to him or not. The idea of Lord Sesshomaru laughing . . . Jaken wasn't even sure that Lord Sesshomaru knew how to laugh. He peered at the lord in question and noticed that he didn't seem as tense and foreboding as he usually did. Maybe the girl wasn't pulling his leg after all.

Oh, life just wasn't fair.


	3. Traumatized

**A/N: This chapter was a little difficult to get started but really fun once I got into it. Once again it's a little longer than the previous chapter. They seem to be getting longer and longer, don't they? I was actually tempted to write more in the scene with Sesshomaru and his mother, but I'm going to save that for later.**

**This chapter does contain some spoilers if you haven't seen the Final Act yet, so read at your own risk I guess. **

**When I talk of the Dog General "beating" Sesshomaru, it's not in the abusive parent way, but in the alpha wolf taking down anyone who challenges him way. Whew! This is a long spiel isn't it? As always I'd like to thank those of you who have reviewed, you've made my day. So I hope that you enjoy and review.**

**I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters that lie therein.**

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><p>Sesshomaru watched the form of his small ward as she slept. She'd only had her life restored to her for the second time earlier that day.<p>

It had been a very . . . distressing day to say the least. And so Sesshomaru thought it would be in the best interests of his companions if they spent the night at his mother's palace.

He'd been looking for his mother for a good week. He had needed to ask her a few questions about the Tenseiga. He'd also been mentally preparing himself for a meeting with her. Sesshomaru knew that his mother had a tendency to be outrageous, but the last thing he expected was for her to, inadvertently, be the cause of Rin's death.

The moment Kohaku told him that Rin wasn't breathing was one of the worst moments of Sesshomaru's life. For a minute, his mind had gone blank. Then he realized that as long as he had the Tenseiga it was okay - he could still save Rin. But as Sesshomaru stood over Rin's lifeless body waiting for the caretakers of the underworld appear, panic began to claw at him. Why weren't they coming? They had always come before. As the realization that Rin might actually be beyond his reach slowly sunk in, Sesshomaru felt several things all at once: despair, failure, anger and above all the realization that Rin was the most important person in his life.

As Sesshomaru and Kohaku made their way back to the world of the living, Sesshomaru felt as though he couldn't breathe - as if someone had his heart in a death grip and refused to let go. He barely even noticed that the Meido Zangetsuha was nearly a complete circle. If at that moment, Sesshomaru suddenly discovered that he was able to have both Tetsuaiga and Sa'unga in his possession, he wouldn't have cared because he'd already lost his most precious possession.

He'd listened to his mother with half an ear: yes, he had thought he was a god, but wasn't it just like his father to pull something like this on him? Why couldn't the Dog General just tell Sesshomaru that he needed to be compassionate in order to wield the Tenseiga? Sure, Sesshomaru probably would have dismissed the notion immediately, but at least it would have been in the back of his mind for reference. Hell, his father could have just beaten the idea into Sesshomaru, like he did everything else that he was trying to teach his hard-headed son. Anything, _anything_ would have been preferable to what Sesshomaru felt at that moment.

After his mother finished her lecture, she had restored Rin's life to her and the death grip about his heart relaxed. Sesshomaru actually broke one of his own rules and touched her cheek, relieved beyond belief that he could hear her heartbeat again; that he could look into those eyes again; that he could see her smile again. Never had anything sounded so sweet; never had anything looked so beautiful.

As the sun began to peak through the clouds that surrounded his mother's home, Sesshomaru got up and headed to his rooms. He hadn't planned on spending the whole night in Rin's room - he'd only meant to check on her. To make sure that she was alright. It was more for his sake than hers, but she had slept peacefully through the whole night.

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><p>Unfortunately, Sesshomaru's mother, Funaho, misinterpreted her son's overnight stay at her home, and what was originally only meant to be an overnight trip turned into a weeklong stay. There were matters that Sesshomaru and Sesshomaru alone, had to see to. Never mind that his mother had singlehandedly been running the Western Lands ever since the demise of her mate. In her mind she wasn't running anything, she was just keeping everything organized for her son and his future mate.<p>

Sesshomaru had just finished meeting with a group of advisors about resuming trade with the east and was looking for Rin to tell her to prepare to leave. He knew where she was, she was with his mother on the other side of the palace. Kohaku was with Jaken in the courtyard watching the palace guards run drills.

Sesshomaru walked to the door of his rooms and took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping into the hallway. He'd made it half way down the corridor before he was accosted by a female dog demon. This was just one of the reasons why Sesshomaru avoided coming home as much as possible. He couldn't even walk down a hallway without someone sexually harassing him. And let's not even get into the number of demons who had stopped by because they just happened to be in the neighborhood with all of their daughters in tow.

"Lord Sesshomaru," the female said in a seductive purr. "I couldn't help but notice that you haven't had a chance to unwind since you've been home. You know you're always welcome where ever I am." She lifted her hand and began tracing the magenta markings that ran along his cheeks.

"Are you touching my face?" Sesshomaru asked. The she-demon immediately stopped what she was doing and lowered her hand.

"I'm so sorry my lord, I didn't mean to offend you, I just. . ." Whatever she said after that was lost on Sesshomaru because he was already around the corner and halfway down the next hallway.

Ten minutes later an extremely irritated dog demon entered his mother's sitting room. Both his mother and Rin were seated at a small table that was covered with papers. Funaho was currently speaking with a servant and wasn't paying attention to her son or his ward. Once she'd finished her discussion she turned towards Sesshomaru, a soft smile on her face.

"Mother, you will get rid of those women at once," Sesshomaru said, before his mother could open her mouth.

Funaho simply raised her eyebrows. "What women are you talking about," she asked.

Sesshomaru felt a growl working its way to his chest. She knew damn well what women he was talking about. Sesshomaru merely stared at her; if she was going to be difficult then so was he.

Funaho sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Sesshomaru, I know that I taught you better manners than this. You didn't even say hello to your dear mother before you started making demands." By the time she had finished her face was in her hands as if she were trying to stave off tears. Sesshomaru felt a headache coming on. She was a thousand times worse than Jaken.

Sesshomaru just continued to stare at her. When Funaho realized that her son wasn't going to indulge her with a greeting she lifted her head and began examining her claws as she said, "You didn't have a problem with those women when you were younger, Sesshomaru."

True, but that was precisely because he had _been_ younger. Back then he'd found his concubines alluring, now he just found them revolting. Rather than respond to her statement, Sesshomaru looked at Rin who hadn't said anything since he entered the room.

Her eyes were wide and her mouth was hanging open slightly - she looked as if she were in a daze. Curious as to why his ward was acting so strangely, Sesshomaru walked to the table.

"Rin," Sesshomaru said. By this time he was standing right in front of her. Rin continued to stare into space. It was only then that Sesshomaru caught a glimpse of the papers that were on the table. And the drawings that were on the papers. Very detailed drawings. For a minute, Sesshomaru felt like he was going to faint, then he felt like he was going to explode.

"Rin," Sesshomaru repeated more forcefully. Rin gave a small jump before turning to look at Sesshomaru. She immediately began to apologize for not noticing him earlier when he cut her off, "Go get your things ready, we're leaving."

"Yes Lord Sesshomaru," she replied. Rin hopped out of her seat, walked to the door and left the room.

The minute she left Sesshomaru turned his golden eyes on his mother. Any other person would have been cowering in fear if he looked at them that way, but all Funaho did was smirk.

"What have I done now, son," she inquired innocently. Sesshomaru looked down at the papers, then back at his mother, before once more looking down at the papers. He was so angry he didn't know what to say. First his mother unintentionally causes Rin's death and now this. She had probably traumatized his ward permanently.

"What were you talking about with Rin before I came in," Sesshomaru asked his mother, as calmly as he could.

"Oh you know, this and that and this," his mother replied airily. She had done nothing wrong. She didn't know why he was getting so upset, and she could tell that he was upset even though he wasn't showing it.

"Mother, what were you and Rin talking about before I came in," Sesshomaru repeated.

"We were just talking about what went on between a man and a woman who are –."

"Stop," Sesshomaru said. He brought his hand to his face and massaged his temples. His headache was getting worse. "What made you think . . . Of all the things that you could have . . . Why did you have to talk about mating, Mother. She's just a child." His mother was the only one who had the ability to faze him.

Funaho didn't take too kindly to being interrupted. "Yes, she's just a child, but she'll be a woman in a few years. I thought that it would best to let her know what to expect." Funaho left her chair and strolled to a window that overlooked a pond. "Were you planning on telling her what to expect from a man, Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru had been planning on never having to think about Rin with a man in that manner, that's what he'd been planning. "It's a good thing you don't have any daughters, Mother," was all he said.

True, demon children and human children were different. A female demon would have gone into heat at least twice by the time she was Rin's age, but even then she wouldn't be expected to take on a lover until her fifth or sixth time. Rin hadn't even gone into heat once during the whole year they'd been traveling together. What's more, Sesshomaru suspected that once human women went into heat they stayed in that state for years. How else would you explain the fact that every time he ran into Inuyasha's group both the priestess and the demon slayer were in a perpetual state of readiness? Sesshomaru secretly thought this was one of the reasons why Inuyasha was so protective of the priestess - dogs had a tendency to be overprotective of their females whenever said females were in heat. Female demons on the other hand went into heat every two or three years and stayed that way for around three months. If Rin had been a demon, then Sesshomaru wouldn't have had a problem with his mother telling Rin what to expect, but Rin wasn't a demon.

Funaho was still staring out the window; her irritation was quickly fading as she realized that her son's was rising. "You know Sesshomaru, I really hope that Rin can at least find pleasure when the time comes. Most humans still have sex in the dark with their clothes on, can you believe that? And yet, they're obviously doing something right because they reproduce like rabbits. How many children do you think little Rin will have when she's older, Sesshomaru?" Funaho asked, finally turning around to face her son. She was holding back the urge to laugh.

"So that's what you were doing, telling her about how a man can give a woman pleasure," Sesshomaru asked as nonchalantly as possible.

"Exactly," Funaho said.

Sesshomaru was quiet for a while. "Then you should have just told her. Since when does explaining sex involve drawing a picture of a woman's-."

"Lord Sesshomaru," Jaken said as he entered the room. "There you are sire. I've been looking all over for you. Rin said that we were leaving?" he finished, wanting to make sure that Rin wasn't just playing another joke on him.

Sesshomaru turned away from his mother's laughing eyes. "Yes, we're leaving."

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><p>Sesshomaru couldn't get away from this place fast enough. As he began walking down the steps of his mother's palace, Rin by his side, he heard his mother telling Kohaku that the Tenseiga couldn't bring him back to life should he die. Sesshomaru inwardly sighed before turning forward once more. While Sesshomaru knew that he loved his mother, it was a distance-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder type of love. And as for when he would come back . . . he would wait until the next blue moon.<p>

The events of the last week had been tiring in the extreme.


	4. Fallen Ill

**A/N: So this is the event that will prompt Sesshomaru to leave Rin with Kaede. I was thinking about doing a chapter that actually shows Sesshomaru leaving Rin there, but I don't think I will. The little about bit about Rin's scent changing is something that I'm thinking about using later on in the story . . . so I guess we'll just have to see how it goes.**

**Thank you to all of you who have reviewed. You are awesome in my book. And as always I hope that you enjoy and review;)**

**I do not own Inuyasha.**

Lord Sesshomaru was on his way back to his companions. It had been close to two months since Naraku had been defeated, and the only things that had been plaguing him recently were petty border disputes and Jaken's incessant chatter. Sesshomaru conveniently ignored the fact that Rin talked as much as Jaken did. As Sesshomaru approached the clearing where he left his retainer and Rin, he noted two things: first, Jaken was panicking, and the only time Jaken panicked was when Rin was involved. Second, something about Rin's scent was off.

Jaken was indeed panicking. Something was wrong with Rin, but damned if he knew what it was. Lord Sesshomaru is going to kill me, Jaken thought to himself. Ever since Rin had joined them, his lifespan seemed to be shortening at a frightening pace. The stupid child is going to be the death of me, he thought looking toward the girl in question. She was currently pressed close to Ah-Un's side asleep. Although Jaken would never admit it, he had grown quite fond of the girl and was extremely worried. What was wrong with her?

Jaken was so busy trying to figure out what was wrong with Rin, that he nearly had a heart attack when he caught a whiff of Sesshomaru's scent. Surely he would know what was wrong with Rin, but then again this might just send him over the edge and end up with me dead, Jaken was thinking to himself as he heard the faint footsteps of his lord drawing nearer. By the time that Sesshomaru was at the edge of the clearing Jaken was seriously considering running away from what would surely be a pissed off Sesshomaru. I could say that I have to go on a journey Jaken thought quickly to himself, but alas he was too late. So wrapped up in his escape plans was he that he failed to notice Sesshomaru standing right in front of him.

"Jaken," said Sesshomaru in his usual monotone voice.

Jaken nearly wet himself right there. He slowly looked up at the majestic creature in front of him. "Yes milord," he replied, his voice was at least twice as high as it normally was because of his fear.

"What is wrong with Rin," Sesshomaru asked, looking off in the direction of Ah-Un and Rin.

"Well milord," Jaken replied somewhat hopefully, perhaps he was going to be reasonable after all, "She seems to have lost all of her strength. Two days ago, her scent began to change, and then this morning . . . she's done nothing but sleep all day. It's such strange behavior, especially for her." Jaken concluded.

That was strange. Rin was normally such a robust child. Hmmm how odd, Sesshomaru thought as he turned and headed for Rin. And her scent, it smelled sweet, too sweet; sickly sweet he thought to himself before coming to an abrupt stop. Could Rin be sick? Demons didn't normally get sick unless they were still babies or on their deathbeds. But humans . . . Well they were such frail creatures.

Sesshomaru continued on his trek until he reached Rin. Once there he knelt next to her, and somewhat hesitantly, reached out a hand to touch her forehead. He had no idea what he was doing; he was only copying what he had seen humans do to those who were sick. Supposedly they were checking for a fever, whatever that was. As his hand came into contact with Rin's skin, he was surprised by how hot she was. He had only touched her face a handful of times, the most recent being when his mother had restored her life to her, but even he knew that she was too hot.

Sesshomaru pulled his hand back and thought for a while. He had no idea how to take care of a sick human, so he would have to use some common sense.

Ten minutes later Sesshomaru and Ah-Un were heading back into the forest in search of a cave; Rin was still asleep, and had been laid on Ah-Un's back. He had figured that it would probably be best if Rin was shielded from the elements while she recovered. Sesshomaru had sent Jaken to Jenenji to get some herbs that would help bring Rin's temperature down - he still didn't know that she had a fever. Hopefully the imp would be back by this evening, or the next morning at the very latest. Sesshomaru had told Jaken that he would kill him otherwise.

* * *

><p>The next seven days were very long ones for both lord and retainer. Jaken had returned early the next morning with the herbs and directions for how to use them. But the herbs alone didn't seem to be working. So Sesshomaru tried holding Rin in his arms while wrapping his fur around her. He remembered his mother cuddling with him the one time that he had gotten sick as a child. But Rin didn't want any part of it. Sesshomaru had no idea what to do.<p>

Then Jaken suggested starting a fire. That made no sense to Sesshomaru; why would they need to start a fire if he was offering his warmth to the girl? But as the night drew nearer and Rin curled up into a small, shivering ball, Sesshomaru conceded that perhaps building a fire wasn't such a bad idea after all. This was confirmed when Rin woke up long enough to get closer to the fire and ask for some food, which Sesshomaru promptly sent Jaken out to find. By the time the imp returned Rin had fallen back asleep, this time in Sesshomaru's lap.

All throughout the night Rin tossed and turned; one minute pushing Sesshomaru's furs off her, the next pulling them back up to her chin. He didn't know what to make of it. When he'd been sick he'd stayed nestled up in his mother's furs until the sickness had passed.

The next day brought about the development of a cough. This was even more disturbing to Sesshomaru, who had now clue how human illnesses worked. As he watched a particularly violent spell of coughing shake Rin's small body, he decided that he had never felt so useless in his life. After the spell was over he sent Jaken off to Jenenji's again, this time to find something that would help with her coughing.

It had been three days since Jaken had come back. Rin's temperature had come down, and her coughing spells were becoming scarce. It looked as if she would be healthy enough to resume travel any day now.

* * *

><p>Rin had made a full recovery. Sesshomaru still stayed in the cave for an extra three days, in the event that she suffered a relapse. But Rin, it appeared, truly was fine. She was currently sitting in front of the fire, with Sesshomaru's fur wrapped around her whole body, so that only her head and hands were visible. She was teasing Jaken about worrying about her while she was sick.<p>

As Sesshomaru listened to the familiar bickering he felt tension he didn't even know had been there leaving his body. She was going to be alright.

He'd been incredibly worried about her. Her small flushed face had unsettled him; her coughs had frightened him. He had wished that that he could slay the sickness for her, but there was nothing that he could do. He was one of the most powerful demons to ever walk the earth and he didn't like feeling helpless. Watching Rin over the past few days made him feel just that.

The simple fact of the matter was that Sesshomaru was a fighter not a healer. What if she got sick again? What if the next time she got sick, she died because he didn't know how to treat her? Sure, they could go to Jenenji like they did this time, but what if the next time she fell ill there wasn't any time for that? Now that Sesshomaru had acknowledged that she was the most important thing to him, at least to himself, he was not going to let anything, least of all some sickness, steal her away.

And yet he was also a little baffled. It was something that he hadn't allowed himself to think about while she had been ill, but there were times during her illness when Rin's scent strongly resembled that of a demon's. It didn't smell like him; as a matter of fact Sesshomaru had never come across a scent like it before. Furthermore, he wasn't sure if it was the result of her illness, since it had disappeared along with it. He pondered this strange anomaly for a while longer, before getting back to the matter at hand.

He wondered, not for the first time, if she would be better off in a human village.


	5. Legends and Misunderstandings Part 1

**A/N: So this chapter was originally meant to be around seven pages long, but once again it ran away with me. As a result I've decided that I would divide it up into two chapters. The second part will be up by the end of the day I just was too lazy to do it all at once.**

**This is the first time that I've ever tried to come up with my own "legend". I wasn't quite sure how it would turn out, but even I'm amazed by how well it did. Sometimes I just surprise myself. The demonic notes that I'm referring to was inspired by the different notes that are in perfume. So that's the context that it's being used in. Also most of the content in this chapter is the flashback of Sesshomaru and his mom's conversation.**

**As always, thank you, thank you, thank you to all those who have reviewed and I hope that you enjoy and review again.**

**I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters within it.**

Sesshomaru was beyond irritated. This had been one incredibly aggravating week for him. And it just got worse.

Sesshomaru and Jaken were patrolling his lands - something that Sesshomaru usually loved doing. Although, he loved doing anything other than the paperwork that came with being lord over such a huge territory, which was precisely why he left all of that boring stuff to his mother. At least while out on patrol there was a chance that he might come across someone who might pose a small challenge. At home, which he had always considered the floating castle to be, the challenges that faced him were much more numerous, but they weren't the type that he was constantly looking for. They were more like the aggravating, mind numbing challenges that went with being the Lord of the Western Lands with no mate and a mother who wanted grandchildren desperately. As a result, Sesshomaru was on patrol for the vast majority of each year. Anything was better than dealing with his mother and her machinations.

Sesshomaru and Jaken were walking through the forest, when he picked up a familiar scent. This scent put him on edge, and was the perfect conclusion to what had already been a vexing week.

What was _**she **_doing here, he wondered angrily. She normally never sought him out unless it was very important, and even then as a last resort. Sesshomaru sighed as his mind conjured up all types of possible scenarios that would draw the elusive woman out of her home. Any of them could be plausible, but then again knowing her, she could just be here to annoy him which was something that she was very good at.

As they came around the bend of the path they were currently following, the scent got stronger. Sesshomaru tried to deduce the reason for her seeking him out by her scent, but could detect nothing. She was probably here just to annoy him then. She had a tendency to pull something like this every once and a while. Sesshomaru let his aura flare. With any luck she would pick up on the fact that he wasn't in the best of moods like Jaken had. The little toad had been very quiet for the vast majority of the day. There was a subtle shift in the scent - she was amused.

Clearly she was refusing to be put off. So be it then. Sesshomaru and Jaken were very close to her now. She was standing just beyond the forest.

As the two approached the edge of the forest, Sesshomaru mentally prepared himself for what was to come. Walking out of the forest, he approached the female who watched him with cool but laughing eyes.

"Mother," Sesshomaru said.

* * *

><p>Sesshomaru was on his way to visit Rin; he'd sent Jaken on an errand. It had been five years since he'd left her with Inuyasha and the old priestess. Unfortunately he wasn't able to visit as much as Rin wanted. Once Naraku had been defeated Sesshomaru had had a number of affairs to attend to. On top of that his mother had insisted that he start doing more than just patrols. So he'd had very little time to spare in which to visit her. However he made it up to her in the form of gifts. At least once a month Rin received a gift from her previous guardian, and very elaborate gifts they were too. Things like fancy kimonos, silk slippers and combs made out of the finest stones, gems and metals around. While Rin appreciated the gifts he gave her, Sesshomaru knew that she appreciated his visits even more. He knew that if he went to visit her without a gift she would still be happy.<p>

It had been close to a year since he'd last visited her, according to Jaken. Rin had to be close to fourteen summers old by now, which meant she would be old enough for him to confirm the truth of his mother's words.

It turned out that Funaho had a reason for seeking him out. Sesshomaru went over his last conversation with her yet again, still unable to wrap his mind around what she'd said.

After he had approached her, Funaho told him that she needed to speak to him about something that required privacy and ordered that he return to the floating castle with her. However once there, she seemed to have forgotten the matter that had required him to return with her. Sesshomaru was just about the leave - he had been there for close to three days after all - when . . .

He'd been summoned to his mother's rooms. It was about time she explained why she sought me out, Sesshomaru thought as he walked to her rooms, ignoring the dozens of females that were throwing themselves at him. Hadn't he told her to get rid of all these women? And was it him, or did they seem bolder than before?

When he entered her room, he saw that she was sitting at the same table she had sat at with Rin, looking out the window.

"Mother, I thought that I told you to get rid of those women," Sesshomaru said as soon as he entered the room.

Funaho turned to him; her face was impassive. "But I did get rid of them. Those are just the daughters of some friends of mine. They're only visiting," Funaho replied.

"Visiting," Sesshomaru repeated skeptically. They had been "visiting" for the last five years. "Send them home Mother," he said after a moment's pause. Gods, he could feel a headache coming on.

Funaho continued to look at her son before she began pouting. Why couldn't he just indulge me for once in his life, she thought. If the boy would just give me a grandchild there would be no need for me to put women in his path. At the thought of grandchildren her pout disappeared as she remembered the reason why she called him there.

"Sesshomaru," Funaho said as she got up and walked to her son. Once she was standing right in front of him, she cocked her head to the side, then reached out her hand and took a handful of his hair. After studying it she asked him, "When was the last time you had someone look at your hair?"

What was with his mother and her obsession with his hair, Sesshomaru thought. He just looked at her.

An hour later Sesshomaru and Funaho were sitting on the floor. His mother had insisted on washing his hair and was currently sitting behind him brushing it dry.

Sitting in the room like this brought back memories of how she used to do this for him when he was a child. She had always insisted on doing his hair when he was younger. It relaxed Funaho to no end to groom her son. It was usually during these grooming sessions, that she would impart something of vital importance to him. It was something that hadn't changed over the years. His mother could irritate him to no end with her fractious behavior, but whenever she was doing his hair she was completely serious. It was one of the reasons why Sesshomaru had given in to her without a fight. Now he was just waiting to hear what she had to say.

"Sesshomaru, have you ever heard of the Kazufuhei," Funaho asked. He sighed, so she was finally getting to the sum and substance of this summons.

"No," Sesshomaru said.

"According to legend, they are offspring of the very first union between a demon and a human," she continued. "No one really knows if they actually existed, or if it was just a legend. Not even I believed in them until just recently," his mother admitted.

What was she going on about, Sesshomaru wondered. Surely she couldn't have sought him out in order to tell him about a legend?

"Why are you telling me this," he asked.

But Funaho went on with her story instead, "The Kazufuhei and all of their descendants were capable of producing either a full blooded demon, a half breed or a human, regardless of which race their mate was. No one knew how this was possible, only that it was. Although if their mate was a demon then the chances of their child being born a demon was much higher, the same for a half breed or a human. Not only that, but their offspring had the tendency to be incredibly powerful. They were very desirable mates for demons." Again she paused, "But the humans feared them, as they fear anything that is different from them. Soon they began to kill the Kazufuhei off until only a handful of them existed. Those who survived the extermination hid themselves among the humans, marrying them and, as most were inclined to think, weakening their blood."

Funaho had finished brushing Sesshomaru's hair and was now examining the ends and cutting the ones that were split. "The Kazufuhei had always fascinated your father. He didn't understand how it was possible for a half-breed to be able to produce so many different types of children, especially in those cases where a full blooded demon was born from a union between a Kazufuhei and a human. He was looking for proof. Whether this was proof that they existed, whether the legends about the offspring were true, or . . . I do not know. But I do know that he was looking for them."

Sesshomaru was thinking about how his mother said his father was looking to prove the rumors about the offspring true. There was only one way for him to do that. "So was that the reason why Father took up with that human woman," he asked.

"No, I don't know why he took up with her, although that was my initial thought as well," his mother admitted. "But I think that you have outdone your father yet again Sesshomaru," she said. He could hear the pride in her voice. Unlike his father, his mother had always thought him to be perfect, more because she felt that she was incapable of producing anything weak and imperfect than anything else.

Now he was intrigued. Surely he couldn't have found one of these Kazufuheis'? But it appeared that he had as his mother confirmed with her next words. "You have found what your father spent his whole life searching for, and quite unintentionally too," she said.

Okay, so he found one of them, why was that significant? And more importantly, who was it, Sesshomaru thought trying to rack his brain for answers.

As if reading her son's thoughts, Funaho supplied him with the answer. "I think that Rin is one of the Kazufuhei."

For a moment, Sesshomaru's mind went blank. Rin, he thought.

"And what makes you think that," he asked. His voice wasn't as steady as it normally was.

"There are a couple of ways of identifying one of the Kazufuhei. One is to get the girl with child and wait for it to be born. Because you're a demon, and an immensely powerful one at that, the child would probably be born as a full-blooded demon as well," Funaho said. Sesshomaru didn't miss the hopeful note in her tone. Clearly that was the method she was hoping he would use.

"Are there any other ways," he asked and was rewarded with a soft growl from his mother. He turned and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

Funaho turned his head back around rather roughly. "Have you noticed any changes in Rin's scent," she asked.

Sesshomaru went completely still.

"I see," Funaho replied. "When the Kazufuhei are afraid or their bodies are under a great deal of stress, their scent changes, usually to resemble that of a half breed or a demon. Whatever scent the Kazufuhei gives off is a huge indication as to the race that their children will be born as."

Funaho moved to face her son and began inspecting his bangs for split ends. Once she was finished she returned to her place behind him, and picked up the brush again. She was almost finished.

"I couldn't help but notice that Rin's scent strongly resembled that of a demon's after I restored her life to her," Funaho said.

Sesshomaru was feeling very weak at the moment. Had her scent really changed when that happened?

As if once again reading her son's thoughts Funaho said, "You were too busy feeling happy to really notice. But I did. At first I thought that it was strange. . . How could a human suddenly smell like a demon? But then I remembered the tale of the Kazufuhei.

"Sesshomaru," his mother said. "There is still another way for you to tell if Rin is one of the Kazufuhei. When she goes into heat, her scent will contain some demonic notes. If it does then you need to bring her back under your protection at once."

Sesshomaru was still reeling over this explanation for the change in Rin's scent that he'd noticed when she had gotten sick, but that last line got his full attention. "Why," he asked.

Funaho sighed. "Sesshomaru, I'm not the only one who's heard about this legend. I'm sure that once Rin goes into heat, other demons will find those traces of demonic notes in her scent just as curious as I did. It will only be a matter of time before they put two and two together and then try to take her as their own."

Having finished brushing her son's hair, Funaho once again rose and sat in front of him. "There are several demons who want what is ours. They will have no qualms about using Rin in order to get it. Even if Rin was to have a child with the weakest of demons, that child would probably have the power to be a thorn in our side. Therefore it is best if we keep her under our watch and no one else's."

Sesshomaru stared into her eyes and saw that she was dead serious. She honestly thought Rin was one of the Kazufuhei otherwise she wouldn't have even suggested that he once again become Rin's guardian.

Sesshomaru turned his head to the side and stared out the window for a long minute, digesting everything that his mother had said to him. After he'd gathered his thoughts, he turned to her once again and said, "They would be a fool to touch her. Rin still carries my scent." It was all over the gifts that he gave to her so regularly.

"She may still carry your scent, but you are no longer there to look after her the way you once were. By the time word reached you that something happened to her, the damage could already be done. She could be with child. What's more, regardless of who becomes Rin's mate, her children will most likely be born as demons," said his mother.

That's right because her scent took on that of a demon at times. Sesshomaru was more than a little dazed. But his mother continued, "How do you think those villagers would react then? How do you think her mate would react?"

Sesshomaru didn't need to think, he knew. He was already aware that she wasn't fully accepted in the village because of her association with him. They would probably kill her.

"If you're still having trouble believing me, then go and see for yourself. But if I'm right you will bring her under you protection immediately," his mother said. Then without warning her face resumed it's normal stoic façade, she was the one he got it from after all, and she asked him if he'd finished looking over the terms of the trade agreement she had been working on.

So now here he was, on his way to see if his ex-ward was one of the descendants of a race that had long been thought to be extinct, or simply legend. He was thirty minutes away from Edo when he heard a very familiar scream rent the air.


	6. Legends and Misunderstandings Part 2

**A/N: So here's part two. I'm not this biggest fan of Inuyasha and Kagome, so don't expect to see a whole lot of them in this story . . . But that being said, this idea came to me out of the blue and I just couldn't resist.**

Inuyasha had been relaxing in the hot spring and wishing that Kagome was with him. He'd had the whole thing planned out. Kiba, their son, was being watched by Sango and Miroku and Kaede said that she would take care of things while Kagome was gone. He'd chosen this particular hot spring because of how far it was from the village. Its location guaranteed privacy, which suited Inuyasha just fine because he wanted to spend some quality time with his wife.

But just as they were about to leave, a village boy had come up and said that his father had fallen into a ditch and they weren't sure if he'd broken his leg. Since Kaede was currently engaged in helping one of the village women give birth, there was just no way Kagome could be persuaded to let someone else handle it. For a hopeful minute, Inuyasha thought he'd won her over when he suggested that the boy go find Rin, but the boy told him that Rin had gone out early this morning and had yet to return. And so Inuyasha watched all of his planning go down the drain as Kagome went to tend to the boy's father, after sweetly kissing him and promising to make it up to him. He would hold her to that promise, damnit.

It wasn't long before his imagination got the better of him and he was lost in fantasies about how Kagome would fulfill her end of the bargain. He was so wrapped up in his fantasies that he failed to notice someone rustling about in the bushes.

Rin had been out gathering herbs for Kaede for most of the day and was on her way back to the village when she saw a bunch of berry bushes. Looking at them reminded her that she hadn't eaten since early this morning. Rin wandered over to the bushes for a closer look, and when she realized that the berries were edible, happily began munching away.

Like Inuyasha, Rin was in her own little world, until she heard the sound of water. Wondering if she was near a river she pushed the bushes aside and froze.

It was Inuyasha, only he was naked. Rin's eyes practically popped out of her head. This was the first time that she'd seen a naked man. She gave a startled little squeak before falling backward on her bottom.

She had to get out of there, preferably without Inuyasha knowing that she was there. Rin was just about to crawl behind the nearest tree when she noticed something that almost made her heart stop. Inuyasha was coming towards her. Why was he coming towards her, she wondered frantically. With each step that Inuyasha took, Rin felt herself become tenser. She was so tense that if Inuyasha even touched her she would probably scream.

Rin tried to stay as still as possible, but that was rather difficult because of the position she was in. She was kneeling on the balls of her feet, with one foot turned in a ninety degree angle.

Inuyasha came to a halt right in front of her, and Rin found herself practically face to face with Inuyasha's man parts. She was going to scream. He reached out a hand towards her . . . and Rin screamed.

Inuyasha's torrid fantasies came to an abrupt halt when he heard a scream. He looked around for the source, pulling aside the bushes until he was face to face with a red-faced Rin. For a minute all they could do was stare at each other. Inuyasha slowly became aware that he wasn't wearing any clothes, when he picked up the scent of the last person he wanted to see.

Shit, Inuyasha thought. Sesshomaru was coming at them fast, too fast. Inuyasha imagined the scene that would greet Sesshomaru when he arrived, and panicked. If he had to face his brother then he would face him with his clothes on. But alas, it was too late. Inuyasha watched in horror as the ball of blue light that was his brother appeared in front of him. Shit, he thought again. He was only trying to get back home to Kagome in order to convince her to retire early for the night.

Sesshomaru materialized and took a minute to gather some information via smell. Rin was shocked and Inuyasha was . . . aroused? Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed. He turned around and saw that Inuyasha was naked and standing over a cowering Rin. His eyes narrowed even more.

He could smell the fear and anxiety in his brother's scent. Well and good, he had every right to be anxious. Inuyasha might not make it through this bout.

That was something Inuyasha himself was thinking. Sure he and Sesshomaru still tried to kill each other every now and then, but it was only half-heartedly. He knew that it was half-hearted because Sesshomaru never used Bakusaiga during those fights. Inuyasha knew there would be nothing half-hearted about this fight. Sesshomaru had the tendency to become irrational whenever Rin was involved. It would probably be better if he could explain and dispel whatever delusions his brother was having. Man he wished that he'd had time to put on his pants. Inuyasha would have felt a whole lot braver if his privates were covered.

"This isn't what it looks like," Inuyasha began. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because Sesshomaru's eyes had gone from narrowed to glaring. It was a good thing Rin's scream killed his erection, because if Inuyasha was still aroused that glare would have had him limp in seconds. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have started with that he thought to himself.

He tried again, "What I meant to say was, I was trying to get dressed after taking a bath . . ." Inuyasha gestured to the bushes that Rin had been hiding behind, hoping that Sesshomaru would look as well and see his clothes lying on them.

Sesshomaru continued to glare, only this time his hand moved to Bakusaiga. It was all Inuyasha could do to not piss himself. He didn't even have Tetsusaiga within reaching distance. From the corner of his eye he looked longingly at the sword that was resting against the nearest tree trunk.

The silence was almost deafening. Inuyasha was wondering several things all at once: where was Jaken? The little imp was normally always with Sesshomaru, not that he was complaining. It was bad enough that he was standing bare-assed naked in front of his brother without being ogled by the imp. Inuyasha was almost positive that the little toad was queer. Secondly, what was Rin even doing out here. It was very rare for her to wander this far away from the village. And furthermore why was she snooping around like some thief? Why the hell was he even still alive? Unfortunately, Inuyasha couldn't come up with any of the answers.

Finally, the silence got to be too much for him and he blurted out, "Look it ain't my fault. It's hers," he said, pointing in Rin's direction. "I was just trying to get dressed. She was the one who was sneaking around like some thief. It's her own damn fault -."

"So you're telling me that you didn't notice she was in those bushes," Sesshomaru said. Oh, good, for a minute there Inuyasha feared that his brother had forgotten how to speak. Besides he was much more comfortable when Sesshomaru was hurling insults at him, not looking as though he was envisioning all the different ways he could kill him. "I know that you're only a half-breed Inuyasha, but I was under the impression that you had a better sense of smell," Sesshomaru continued.

Inuyasha could feel his already hot face getting hotter. Damn, why did Sesshomaru always have to ask him questions he couldn't answer? He knew that he should have been able to smell Rin as she approached, and he would have to, if . . .

"Why were you aroused," Sesshomaru asked after releasing Inuyasha from one of his death glares.

"What," Inuyasha squeaked out. How in the hell did his brother do that, he wondered. He'd never met anyone with the power to scare someone shitless just by looking at them.

"You were aroused before I got here. Why," his brother asked again. This time Inuyasha could hear the irritation in his voice. Damn, he must be even madder that I thought. He took a small indiscernible step backward. Inuyasha had forgotten that Sesshomaru's sense of smell was even better than his own. Of course he would have been able to smell his aroused state lingering in the air. However, he refused to explain the reason for that. He did have his pride after all.

"I'm waiting Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said.

"None of your fuckin business, asshole," Inuyasha said belligerently.

"I see," was all Sesshomaru said before he began walking towards his younger and infinitely more stupid brother.

Inuyasha forgot how to make his legs work, although later on he would tell himself that he was wasn't afraid to stand up to his brother. He watched as Sesshomaru lifted his hand . . . The next thing Inuyasha knew was that he was flying back in the direction of the spring, where he hit his head on a stone that stood much higher than all the rest, and then fell into the water. As he regained the breath that had been knocked out of him and resurfaced, he thanked the gods that he was still alive. Sesshomaru was striding towards Rin. Inuyasha wisely waited until Sesshomaru collected the girl and was no longer within smelling range before shakily climbing to out of the spring. It would be a while before he recovered from his near-death experience.

Sesshomaru was still lamenting the fact that he'd been too soft on his brother. He knew that Inuyasha wasn't lying, it was merely a misunderstanding, but still . . . how could he let his guard down so much so that he didn't even notice a human was within ten feet of him. He needed to stop pumping himself full of sunshine and focus on watching his back. And just what was his brother doing pleasuring himself anyway? He did have a mate after all. Sesshomaru mentally shook his head, his brother wasn't even worth trying to understand.

Immediately he refocused on the matter at hand. He'd had to grab hold of Rin's arm to get her to move. She was still stumbling around after him. The shock was wearing off and he focused on her scent.

Sesshomaru was immediately disappointed. She wasn't fertile yet. Damnit, how long did it take human females before they went into heat? She was close to it. He could smell it. Her scent was ripening, perhaps by this time next year . . . Sesshomaru let his thoughts wander.

In the meantime Rin was beginning to put two and two together. She remembered Lady Funaho drawing pictures of naked men for her, but she'd thought those pictures were exaggerations. Her young mind had been unable to wrap itself around the fact that men and women could be so different from each other, but now . . . Now she was realizing just how well done those drawings had been.

Sure, Rin had seen her fair share of naked women - she was a midwife after all. But she had never seen a naked man before, at least that she could remember. And she had a feeling she would remember something as eye-popping as that.

The part that was really throwing her through a loop was that if Lady Funaho's drawings of men had been right on, then that meant her other's drawings . . . Oh, Kami Rin thought. Was that really what went on between a man and a woman? She knew how babies were made, but at the same time she hadn't known how babies were _**made**_.

She snuck a peek at Lord Sesshomaru. Did he do all the things his mother said men did with women and in all those positions too? Rin felt her face get hot all over again. Of course he did, he couldn't even walk down the hallways of his home without women - and some men - throwing themselves at him. He must be very good in bed she concluded.

Rin decided that she was going to ask Kagome . . . no Sango, all about what really went on between a man and a woman when then candles were blown out. She knew that Sango would give her an honest answer, while Kagome would hem and haw while blushing profusely. After all Rin thought, she had a right to know if everything that Lady Funaho said was true. And that was the only way to verify it, short of experiencing it for herself.

Why, oh why did the first naked man she saw have to be Inuyasha of all people? Why couldn't it have been someone else, anyone else?

Regardless of what Sango said, if Rin saw another naked man again it would be too soon.


	7. The Only One She Could Love

**A/N: Alright, first thing's first. For those of you who were wondering how I came up with the name Kazufuhei (icegirljenni) . . . I just made it up. I literally threw a few Japanese sounding syllables together until I came to a word that I liked. But I did look up what the meanings of those syllables meant after I saw your reviews so: kazu means harmony or one; fu means symbol, tally or magic figure and hei means black. Kinda funny how that worked out huh?**

**I don't really know how you guys are going to respond to this chapter, but I felt that it needed to be done. I felt the need to expand on Rin's character and give her some depth. It's very difficult for me to get inside Rin's head, and I still don't know if I accomplished my goal but . . . **

**Just to clarify one thing, this one shot is describing what has happened in the two years that Rin had been with Sesshomaru. I kinda felt that that's not clear in the story.**

**Well, I'm going to stop talking now and let you get to the story. As always thank you to those who have reviewed you make my day, and I hope that you will enjoy and review.**

**I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.**

It had been a little over two years since Rin had been back under Lord Sesshomaru's care. He had come for her shortly after the hot spring incident. The day he had come back for her had been one of the happiest of her life; she was going to be with her family again.

Rin had expected to be taken to the castle in the clouds, and was very surprised to hear that that was not their destination. Instead they would be staying at one of the many estates that Sesshomaru owned.

Sesshomaru had chosen a house that was situated between two mountains, with a huge lake at its rear and a large meadow in front of it. The routes for attacking the estate were very limited and very visible, which made it ideal for his purposes. Rin was indeed one of the Kazufuhei, and she needed all the protection he could provide without alerting every demon on the island as to what she was.

In keeping with that train of thought, he had assigned a young female dog demon as her personal servant. Sesshomaru had known Rena for a very long time; she was the first woman to introduce him to carnal pleasure. She was incredibly fierce on the battlefield and loyal to a fault. As such, she was one of the few females that he trusted completely. Rena was also the perfect age for marrying, something that she was loathe to do at the moment. When Lord Sesshomaru had requested her services in looking after his ward, her family had been quick to oblige. They were stunned that he had considered someone from their family to serve him personally. Rena was just happy that she no longer had to deal with her many marriage offers. Once she had arrived at the estate where Sesshomaru's ward was, she'd been pulled aside by Sesshomaru himself and made aware of just how much danger Rin was in. Rena had sworn to look after Rin as she were her own.

And so they had settled into the house and the meadow with little fuss. Sesshomaru had a limited number of servants within the house, again because he trusted few where Rin was concerned. They had moved into the estate right as winter set in, and so Sesshomaru had left for a few weeks to attend to some important issues at his mother's home before returning.

But when he did return, he noticed that there was something different about Rin. She seemed happier than usual and went down to the village almost every day. Since he couldn't quite put his finger on what was different, he let her go about her business as long as Rena was with her. Rin thought that there was nothing strange in having a maidservant trailing after her. Besides, she didn't know that Rena was one of the most lethal women in the western lands.

As spring came around, Sesshomaru and Jaken prepared to go out on patrols again. Sesshomaru expected Rin to join them but she had declined.

Three days before he was to leave, Rin asked if she could stay behind. When he had asked why, she'd blushed and told him that she had been seeing a boy down in the village and didn't want to leave him.

Sesshomaru digested that news quietly. It certainly explained a few things, like her strange behavior . . . but he would feel a lot more comfortable leaving her on her own after he'd met the boy. And so a meeting between the two was arranged.

The boy's name was Shizuo, and there was nothing wrong with him that Sesshomaru could see, or smell for that matter. There were no traces of a demonic scent on him, so this most likely wasn't an attempt to kidnap Rin. There was also no denying that Rin cared deeply for Shizuo. Sesshomaru could tell just by looking at the way she acted around him. Throughout the meeting, Shizuo had been polite and respectful; Jaken had glared at the boy the whole time.

Sesshomaru wasn't surprised that Jaken was having a harder time with Rin's love interest than he was. Jaken had always been more of a parent to Rin than he had. However, there was one thing that both Sesshomaru and Jaken agreed on, and it was that there would probably be nobody good enough for their Rin.

Shizuo was damn close though. He was the son of the local warlord, although he lived in the village with his uncle. From the moment that he had first saw Rin, he'd been mesmerized by her beauty. He had asked around the village about her, and wasn't put off after hearing that she was the ward of Lord Sesshomaru. Shizuo had pursued Rin slowly and sweetly, accepting her completely. When he let his family know of his intentions towards her, he'd been blessed with their support; they had treated Rin as if she were already a member of the family.

After the visit was over, Rena told Sesshomaru that it would probably be a matter of time before Shizuo asked for Rin to be his bride. Jaken had promptly had a fit, shouting that the human wretch wasn't good enough for Rin; that he couldn't protect her; that he couldn't provide for her. On and on it went until Sesshomaru took the Staff of Two Heads that Jaken had been brandishing, and used it to knock the imp into the lake behind the house. Sesshomaru didn't think that the boy was good enough for Rin either, but if he made her happy . . .

And so Sesshomaru and Jaken headed out on their patrols without Rin. Rena had promised to keep a close eye on her while they were gone, but Sesshomaru had already decided that he wouldn't be gone for long this time around. If Rin only had a few more months with them, then he wanted to spend them with her not on the road.

Sure enough, Sesshomaru had not been back for even a week before Shizuo had asked for Rin. Sesshomaru agreed. However once he had immediately began to have doubts.

He still had yet to tell Rin that she was one of the Kazufuhei, and since she was soon to be married it was absolutely crucial that both her and Shizuo know about the possible outcomes of her giving birth. Now that Sesshomaru thought about it, he should have used this information as a test to see if the boy was truly worthy of his ward. Furthermore, he didn't know how he felt should Rin give birth to full blooded demon while married to a human. The humans would undoubtedly use the child to get more land and power. Humans were such greedy creatures. . .

The wedding was set for early fall, but war came to call Shizuo away. His father needed him as a general in his army for an upcoming battle with an arch enemy. Shizuo tried to beg off, asking his father to postpone the invasion, but he would not listen. And so Rin's intended left, promising Rin that he would return for her.

Shizuo and his father won the battle, but as they were heading back to their home, they were beset by a small surviving faction of the enemy's army. Shizuo sustained a fatal wound and died before he could return to Rin.

In the meantime, Rin had been preparing for her upcoming nuptials. Lord Sesshomaru had the most magnificent wedding kimono commissioned for her. It was made of the finest white silk with silver lilies embroidered on it and came with silver, silk slippers. Rin had gone into the village everyday: both to make preparations and to listen for news of her beloved. She heard of his victory, and knew that it would only be a matter of time before she was married. She looked forward to her wedding day. Rin longed to be a wife, a mother, a member of a community; these were things that she knew Lord Sesshomaru could never give her. But her dreams were soon shattered.

Sesshomaru had been sitting in his study going over papers that he had avoided looking at for the last week, when he smelled Rin's blood in the air. Faster than the blink of an eye, he was out the door and racing toward her. As he got nearer, he could smell her tears. Suddenly he came to a stop at the sight that greeted him.

Rin was on the ground face down, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Rena was kneeling by her side, gently patting her back while whispering assurances to her. Sesshomaru walked up to Rin while looking at Rena with a raised brow.

"Shizuo is dead," was all Rena said at first. Sesshomaru looked down the road towards the village. Even he had heard of the warlord's victory. He had also heard that Shizuo had made it through the skirmish unscathed, so how . . .

"We just found out. There was a surprise attack on his party as they made their way back home. . . Rin was so upset that she ran out the village, then she tripped and . . ." Rena gestured helplessly to herself and Rin.

Without saying anything, Sesshomaru knelt down and picked up the small girl, and carried her home.

After that Rin was no longer the girl that had somehow wormed her way into his heart. Sesshomaru hadn't realized just how much she loved that human boy until the moment she stopped smiling. He was used to hearing her laughter, not her sobs, and he hated listening to her cry herself to sleep every night. She was no longer full of the joy and life that he had found so enchanting.

When the next spring came around, Sesshomaru didn't even bother asking Rin to accompany him. He no longer wanted to be around her, and so he just left her in Rena's care and took to the road once more, refusing to acknowledge the empty feeling in his chest.

Slowly but surely, Rin began to reemerge from her shell-shocked state. She had felt many things upon hearing about Shizuo's death: sadness, confusion and later on anger. Why did he have to go in first place? Why would he promise something that he knew he probably couldn't keep? Why didn't he come back for her? Wasn't he strong enough? Lord Sesshomaru had always come back for her, even when he had left her in that village for all those years.

One day Rin was sitting on the floor of her room while taking in the view of the lake from a pair of doors that face the back of the house. She had been so immersed in her world of grief, that she hadn't even noticed that Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken were no longer at the estate. When she asked Rena where they were, she had gotten a small, but sad smile. "They are out on patrols Rin, they've been out for some time now," Rena replied.

"Oh," said Rin very quietly. "Did Lord Sesshomaru ask me to accompany him? I can't remember if he did or not," she said looking towards her maidservant.

"No, no he didn't," Rena answered softly, before she got up and left the room.

Once she left Rin began to berate herself. How long had she locked herself in her room? How could she not have noticed that the most important person in her life was no longer at the estate? Then she felt a new terror grip her heart: what if Lord Sesshomaru doesn't want me anymore because of how I've been acting Rin wondered to herself. What if he doesn't come back?

No, he will come back Rin thought. Lord Sesshomaru always came back. But she would have to show him that she was finished grieving for her dead fiancé. If she still cried in the privacy of her rooms then that was okay, but she had to be cheerful whenever she was around him. Rin wanted to at least look like she was making an effort to move on. She wanted to avoid being weak when around him. Rin knew how much he despised weakness.

It had been a long time since she had felt this lonely, this abandoned; not since her family had been killed. And yet, Rin couldn't help thinking that if this was how she felt when her intended died, then how would she feel if Lord Sesshomaru or Master Jaken died? She felt a shudder run down her spine at the thought.

They won't die, she thought to herself. They're not weak like humans are. A few tears leaked out of her eyes which she quickly wiped away. Rin stood up and walked to the door opposite the one she was sitting at. She took a deep breath and opened it. As she stepped into the hallway, she promised herself that she would forget Shizuo. She would forget his family. She would forget the human village and its villagers.

So what if Shizuo was the only human that she could love. Maybe she just wasn't meant to find happiness with humans.


	8. Touch

**A/N: This will be the last really long spiel I give for a while. Once again I let this chapter run away with me. **

**First off, let me clarify that Rin is around 16 or 17 years old by now. Secondly, this is the start of Rin and Sesshomaru's romantic relationship. Shizuo's role in this story was to awaken Rin's womanly desires, but Sesshomaru is the one who will fulfill those desires. Of course it's going to be slow. Sesshomaru will be resisting Rin for all types of reasons, but they will end up together in the end. As a result, the rating is going to go up very soon as things start to heat up.**

**Well that's it. Everything else is pretty self-explanatory. Thank you to my reviewers, you guys are AWESOME. Enjoy and review.**

**I do not own Inuyasha.**

Sesshomaru was feeling strangely peaceful at the moment.

Rin was sitting in a field of flowers humming to herself; Jaken was propped up against Ah-Un's side asleep and Ah-Un was blinking sleepily while peering about him. Sesshomaru himself was sitting under a large tree at the edge of the clearing. It reminded him of when Rin had first joined his little group.

Sesshomaru thought back to when he last returned to the estate. Winter had been setting in and he hadn't been looking forward to returning home. First off, it meant that he would have to catch up on all of the work that had piled up in his absence and second, it also meant that he would have to be around a moping, depressed Rin. Sesshomaru was seriously considering spending the winter months in another estate and having his work sent to him. Rena was more than capable of looking after Rin by herself. Besides, there hadn't been any attempts to kidnap her since he had brought her under his protection.

Sesshomaru wasn't quite sure what to make of that. He wasn't sure if it was his presence that had kept all threats away, or if the demons who knew what Rin was were just biding their time. He knew without a doubt that all of the demons in the Western Lands were aware that Rin was one of the Kazufuhei. Sesshomaru had had two encounters with demons who had told him that they knew what he was hiding at his estate. He had come across quite a jewel while out on his patrols, they had taunted him. Sesshomaru killed the demons before they could say anything else. These encounters were one of the reasons why he was going back to the estate. He needed to make sure that nothing strange had happened while he was gone. Once Sesshomaru heard what Rena had to report, he would head to another one of his estates. One that wasn't far away so that he would still be close enough to Rin to protect her.

All of Sesshomaru's plans had gone out the window when he had seen Rin though. As soon as he'd entered the house, she was there smiling that smile that he hadn't seen in so long.

All that winter Rin had been her normal, cheery self: humming little songs she made up, helping take care of the winter garden, and teasing Jaken. Sesshomaru was glad that she was making an effort to be herself again while in public. He knew that she still cried herself to sleep some nights, but it wasn't as frequent as it had been before he and Jaken had left.

A few weeks before spring arrived, Rin asked Sesshomaru if she could accompany him and Master Jaken on their patrols. He had agreed, and so Rin had begun to prepare. She had her knee length hair cut, so that it fell to her waist instead, and traded her elaborate, many-layered kimonos for simpler ones. As soon as Rin was ready to leave, his strange little group took to the road just as they had in the past.

Sesshomaru allowed his eyes to close and his mind to wander. He found that it was much easier to feel out threats this way than when he was alert and tense.

In the meantime, Rin continued to dally in the field of flowers. It was a very warm day, and she was happy that she hadn't brought any of her fancy kimonos with her. All of the layers would have had her uncomfortable and grouchy. It was bad enough that her hair was sticking to the back of her neck. At the thought, Rin pulled her hair off her neck and fanned herself with her hand. Gods, it was hot.

Other than the discomfort that was caused by the heat Rin was happy to be with Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken again. She hadn't realized how much she needed to get away from the village and the memories of Shizuo until she couldn't see the village anymore. While the initial pain was nothing more than a vague memory that sometimes flared up to overwhelm her, Rin had resigned herself to living a quiet life with Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken. There would be no children - no family - of her own in her life.

Rin was actually surprised by how much she wanted children. Back when she had been living with Kaede, she'd never even thought about having children of her own, but now that seemed to be all she could think about. Perhaps it was just one of the many things that Shizuo had brought to the surface.

Rin stole a peek at Lord Sesshomaru and saw that he had closed his eyes. She knew enough about him now to know that he probably wasn't sleep. She sighed. He looked just as beautiful and distant as ever. . . Unattainable, but that didn't mean that Rin loved him any less.

She had always loved him, but it was the type of love that a child has for someone they admire greatly, very similar to hero worship. Rin had never loved him romantically; she hadn't been delusional as a child and she wasn't delusional now.

Lord Sesshomaru had always sat atop a pedestal in her mind. The few occasions when he had chosen to step off that perch formed some of her most precious memories: the many times he had "played" with her, showing her how to use a sword; the time that he'd personally helped nurse her back to health; whenever he touched her. . .

Rin had never needed very many hugs or kisses when she'd been a child. It was only after she met Shizuo, who touched her whenever he could, that she had begun to crave them. He never touched her inappropriately, let alone in public. It was only when they were alone that he would gently touch her cheek, hold her hand or even take her in his arms. Whenever Shizuo held her, Rin had always felt loved and safe, though not as safe as when Lord Sesshomaru held her.

She also felt strange sensations whenever Shizuo held her. It was similar to what she experienced whenever Lord Sesshomaru touched her only different. Rin felt the same giddiness, but there was also a funny feeling in her stomach. Her heart would start racing and her face would heat up. She felt as though she were waiting for something, but just what she wasn't sure of.

Rin looked at Lord Sesshomaru yet again and sighed once more. If only he would touch her, just once. . .

Sesshomaru felt the change in Rin's mood. He opened his eyes to look at her, but her back was to him. "Rin," he said.

Rin gave a small jump. She hadn't been expecting him to call her. Rin hurriedly got up and walked to his side.

Sesshomaru was currently sitting on the ground under a huge tree. His fur had expanded to form a cushion between his back and the trunk. His right leg was extended forward, while his left one was bent at the knee with his left arm resting on it. Rin sat down on his right side and looked at him expectantly.

Sesshomaru watched her very closely, but she gave nothing away. She had learned that from him. He turned his head away from her and asked, "What's made you sad?"

Rin blushed. Why did he have to have such a sharp nose? There was no way that she could tell him what she had been thinking. "It's nothing, my lord," Rin replied while averting her eyes.

"You're lying," was all he said. Sesshomaru wondered why he was even pressing the issue. He had a good feeling he knew what had caused her to feel sad, and while he wasn't looking forward to listening to Rin talk about her dead fiancé he figured it was the least he could do. He knew that some days were still very difficult for her.

"It's just that . . . I think that you'll think me too bold, my lord . . ." she trailed off. Rin had decided to compromise; she would touch him. All Sesshomaru did was raise a brow.

Rin shuffled a little closer to him, and cautiously reached for his clawed hand. Once she had it, she flipped it over, so that the palm was facing up, and began to lightly run her fingers down the length of his. Once Rin finished she quickly looked at Sesshomaru to see if she had angered him, but all she saw was the usual mask that he always wore. Gathering her courage Rin turned so that she was facing him, and once again turned his hand over before bringing it to her cheek.

Rin stayed this way for a few moments, with her cheek resting against the back of Lord Sesshomaru's hand. She felt tears gathering, and quickly closed her eyes to stave them off; she didn't want anything to ruin these precious moments. Once Rin had gotten herself under control, she lifted her head and smiled at Sesshomaru. Her smile put him at ease.

Sesshomaru wasn't used to women petting him unless they were both unclothed, and there was no denying that Rin was petting him. She had now moved her hand to the fur that he was leaning on, and was softly stroking it. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about this. He should make her stop. Sesshomaru had been prepared to listen to her talk about her intended, not invite her to this petting fest. He didn't even see how the two were related.

Rin's hands were now running through his hair. It was so soft, she couldn't help thinking to herself, like silk. She ran her hands through the silver strands for a long time, reveling in the fact that her idol had come down off his pedestal to indulge her humanity. Once Rin had gotten her fill with his hair, she took a moment to gather all of her courage before turning her eyes once more to Sesshomaru's face. Slowly, hesitantly, she raised a hand to his face, bringing the fingertips of one hand to his jaw. When he didn't snarl or glare, Rin released the breath that she had been holding, shuffled closer still and began to trace the strange markings on his face.

Sesshomaru resisted the overwhelming urge to pull his head out of her hands. He'd been watching her the whole time that she had been touching him, trying to figure out what was going on in that head of hers, but her head had always been lowered. When Rin reached for his face, what he saw in her eyes made him silently catch his breath. She was in awe. He was used to women being in awe of his power, his position, his wealth, but never had one been in awe of just him.

Slowly Sesshomaru felt the tension that had gripped him the moment she touched him begin to leave his body. Rin had always had the strangest effect on him. If it were any other female, he would have thrown them away from him, or at the very least glared them into the next life. He let his eyes drift close.

Rin had finished tracing the magenta stripes on his cheek when she saw him close his eyes. She had always wanted to do this when she had been a little girl, but she had known how Lord Sesshomaru felt about people touching him. Rin moved her hand to lightly trace the red markings on his eyelids, before turning her attention to the blue crescent moon that graced his forehead. This was her favorite marking. She had always wished that she had one of her own when she was younger.

Once she was finished touching all of his markings, she began to trace the lines of his face in earnest: his perfectly sculpted cheekbones, his long but straight nose, his thin and delicate eyebrows. In the back of her mind, Rin was dimly aware that she was grateful Jaken was asleep. He would have had a heart attack if he had seen her touching his master so freely. After quickly tracing the outline of his lips, Rin cupped Sesshomaru's face in her hands and just looked at him. She had never been this close to him before.

Suddenly, he opened his eyes and Rin found herself trapped in his magnificent golden stare. Her heart began pounding and she could feel her face heating under his gaze. Rin found herself leaning towards him, before Sesshomaru quickly turned his head to the side. When he did, she felt air rushing back into her lungs.

"Are you finished Rin," Sesshomaru asked. He needed to put some space between them. Not for his sake, but for hers. She had been very close to kissing him.

"Yes. Thank you Lord Sesshomaru," Rin replied in a shaky voice. She quickly got up and went to sit in the field once more.

What had just happened, she wondered. Why was her heart racing? Why did she feel like this? Why did her stomach feel so strange, like she was about to vomit or something? Rin had never experienced this when she had been with Lord Sesshomaru before, but then again, she had never been that close to him before either.

That's it she thought to herself. The only reason why I'm feeling this way is because that was the first time I had been that close to Lord Sesshomaru while still aware enough to remember it. It was just a more intense version of what Rin felt whenever he touched her.

Rin was so busying trying to convince herself that that was the reason behind her reaction, that she completely forgot about Shizuo for the rest of the day.

* * *

><p>A week later, Sesshomaru and his companions were traveling along a narrow mountain road. The sun was sinking lower in the sky, indicating that they would soon need to find a resting spot for the night. Sesshomaru already knew where that resting spot was, but they were still more than an hour away.<p>

Suddenly, Rin jumped off of Ah-Un's back, where she had been perched for most of the afternoon, and ran to the edge of the road so that she was facing the setting sun. Sesshomaru stopped as well, not willing to put a huge amount of distance between him and his ward, and watched her.

She had cried again last night, and while her sobs had been silent he had still smelt her tears in the air. Sesshomaru hated when she cried. It made him feel so useless. Yet he couldn't help but be proud of Rin. She was trying so hard to be strong, to rise above her human weaknesses. Still, he wished there was something that he could do to make her feel better on days like this. Sesshomaru pondered just what that something could be before he struck on an idea. It would make him uncomfortable, but what were a few moments of discomfort if it made Rin happy?

Sesshomaru looked around him. Ah-Un had wondered farther down the path and was happily munching on some grass that was growing at the side of the road, and Jaken was sitting on the ground moaning about his aching feet under his breath. Satisfied that they were otherwise engaged, Sesshomaru walked up behind Rin and stood there for a few moments. Her hands were at her sides. He remembered when she had pressed her face to his hand; he had felt her desperation in the air. It had thrown him through a loop, because Rin had never been desperate for anything before while in his presence.

Then Sesshomaru took another step closer, reached his hands around Rin and laid them on top of hers. Their hands were the only parts of their bodies that were touching.

As Rin felt Sesshomaru put his hands on top of hers she resisted the urge to lean against him. Her heart was racing again. She knew that he would only so this for her and she was grateful. Once her heart calmed down, Rin spread her fingers wide and curled them into her fist while capturing Sesshomaru's as well. Their fingers were now intertwined.

Sesshomaru had sensed the boost in Rin's mood and was coolly satisfied that his idea had worked.

The sun began to dip behind the horizon, and still Sesshomaru and Rin stood that way. They stayed in that manner until the sun had disappeared beneath the horizon.

And it was enough. For both of them.


	9. The Realization

**A/N: Your reviews make my world complete. Please keep them coming. **

** Other than that . . . Enjoy. (Told you that last a/n was going to be the last long one for a while, huh)**

**I do not own Inuyasha.**

Sesshomaru was very tense. He paid little attention to the beautiful fall day.

He was just barely holding his demonic aura in check. Sesshomaru and his companions were on the last stretch of patrols, and were currently in the most heavily populated area of demons in the Western Lands.

Usually, the demons in this area scattered whenever he was in the neighborhood, but today they were staying put. Sesshomaru knew that it was because of Rin. Her scent was far too tempting for lower class demons such as the ones that inhabited this bit of land.

Quite frankly, Sesshomaru didn't see the appeal. Of course he noticed Rin's maturing scent; it surrounded him every day. Rather than finding it arousing as did most of his kind, he found it soothing. The demonic notes weaving themselves throughout Rin's scent were balanced by the human ones, creating an aroma that was surprising pleasant. Sesshomaru also knew that Rin's beauty complimented her scent to perfection. She was by far the most beautiful human woman that he had ever seen. Sesshomaru appreciated Rin's beauty the way a collector of fine things appreciates what they've acquired. He would not be so uncivilized as to defile her beauty to slake something that any demon woman of good breeding could take care of, regardless of the fact that Rin was capable of bearing full-blooded demons. Of course, this was assuming that she appealed to him in that way, which she didn't.

Jaken was walking behind Sesshomaru and holding Ah-Un's reins, while Rin was seated sideways upon the beast. Both of them were unusually quiet. While Sesshomaru knew that Jaken was aware that they were more or less surrounded by demons, he wondered what was causing Rin to hold her tongue as well.

Rin was captivated by the turning trees. It was one of her favorite parts of fall. Watching the bright golds, reds and oranges always filled her with awe, and today was no different. There was something that was preventing her from fully enjoying the sight, though she couldn't put her finger on what it was. Rin had felt uneasy all day, as if she were being watched. While she knew that Lord Sesshomaru would never allow anything that might harm her to get that close, she still couldn't shake the feeling.

The group kept on walking and dusk began to set in. As they passed a particularly thick patch in the forest, Rin heard the sound of running water. The sound reminded Rin of how thirsty she was. She had run out of water in the early afternoon, but she had felt too nervous to leave Lord Sesshomaru's company long enough to refill her flask. However this time she might have to brave it - she was too thirsty to go much farther.

Rin jumped off Ah-Un and turned towards the sound of the water. She felt a shiver run down her spine. She looked hard into the forest ahead of her. Why did it feel like she was being watched?

She took a deep breath and was about to take her first step away towards the sound of the running water when she heard Lord Sesshomaru call out to her.

"Rin," he said. She turned and looked at him and was surprised to find that he wasn't as far ahead of her as she thought. He must've stopped when he heard her jump off Ah-Un. "Where are you going," Lord Sesshomaru asked.

"I was just going to refill my water flask, my lord," Rin said. Sesshomaru's back was to her as he continued to survey the area around him. Rin decided that she would feel much safer if he went with her. "Would you please come with me Lord Sesshomaru? I feel . . . something's not right," she finished lamely. She just couldn't bring herself to admit that she was scared to go a few paces to the water.

Instead of answering her, Sesshomaru silently turned around, with Jaken close on his heels, and led the way to a river that was hidden behind some bushes. Once he was within sight of the river, Sesshomaru ordered Jaken to go the rest of the way with Rin. Sesshomaru scanned the area once more and felt the growing unease in his stomach erupt into somersaults.

He took a deep breath and smelled no demons within walking distance. Oh, they were still out there alright. They were just keeping a safe distance. There wasn't anyone hidden in the trees or bushes . . . So why did he feel like he was about to be attacked?

Rin walked to the bank of the river and peered in. The water was so clear that she could see the rocks glittering on the bottom. Suddenly Rin gasped and jumped back. Something had moved in the water. Sesshomaru's head whipped around quickly and Jaken scowled darkly before taking a deep breath.

Rin knew what was coming even before Master Jaken opened his mouth. "What did you do that for? Stupid girl, can't you see that we're all on edge enough as it is," he snarled at her.

"I'm sorry Master Jaken. It must have been a fish," Rin said quietly. But the shape had been much too big to have been a fish she thought. Rin turned back to look at the water and jumped again. Lord Sesshomaru was peering into the water with one hand on Bakusaiga.

Rin blushed clear to her ears. "Really Lord Sesshomaru, it was a fish. It just startled me is all," she said. Sesshomaru continued to look up and down the river. He knew that it wasn't a fish. A fish wouldn't have scared Rin like that. They were hiding in the water. That's why he felt so uneasy. It was perfect - his nose was no good in the water.

Sesshomaru realized that he would probably have to wait for them to come out before he could kill them, so he walked a few paces behind Rin. He knew that it would only be a matter of time before they grabbed her.

Rin leaned down over the bank of the river and put her flask in the water. Just as she was about to pull it out she felt something wrap around her wrist and pull. She gave a surprised squeak before she was dragged at frightening speed into the water. Rin kicked and thrashed as hard as she could without ripping her arm off, but it was no good. She kept choking on water that made its way into her mouth as she fought back. Then she felt the hold on her wrist go slack. Rin resurfaced and gasped for air while coughing.

She didn't need to look behind her to know that Lord Sesshomaru was fighting with whatever it was that had pulled her into the river. Rin began to make her way back to the river's bank, ignoring the splashes and sounds of sword hitting flesh that was going on behind her.

She saw Master Jaken running back and forth along the edge of the river, gesturing for her to get out of the water. There must be more than one demon she thought. It wouldn't have taken Lord Sesshomaru this long to take care of just one. Right as Rin was walking out of the water, she felt another appendage wrap itself around her wrist. Before it could pull her into the water again she began running towards the forest.

Rin didn't get very far before she was pulled back. As she turned around, she saw what the appendage belonged to. It was a giant frog – a demon frog - whose mouth was wide open. Rin realized with disgust that the thing that was wrapped around her wrist was the frog's tongue. With a new burst of strength, Rin backed away from the frog, resisting as hard as she could. Why wasn't Lord Sesshomaru coming to help her, she wondered frantically. A quick glance to the side saw him still engaged with about fifty demon frogs.

As Rin turned her attention back to her adversary, she saw a huge stream of fire pass in front of her face. Then she fell backwards. . .

Aware that Rin was now free of the frog demon's grasp, Sesshomaru withdrew Bakusaiga and made a huge sweeping arc with it. All of the demons were blasted into tiny pieces, and the pieces that fell onto the demon frogs who avoided the blow were slowly eating them away.

Sesshomaru turned towards Rin and Jaken on the other side of the river. He was soaking wet from the waist down, but that was nothing compared to Rin. Sesshomaru jumped across the river and walked up to her.

Her kimono had been pulled off her shoulders when she'd been dragged into the water. Her obi was probably several miles downstream by now. Rin was sitting with her legs tucked to her side, one hand holding her kimono closed, while the other held her right foot.

"Where does it hurt?" Sesshomaru asked. He couldn't see any visible damage.

"My ankle. I think I turned it," Rin replied.

Sesshomaru bent down and picked her up, telling Jaken to get her flask, Ah-Un and to follow him. They needed to get to safer ground for the night and quickly. Looking up at the sky, Sesshomaru felt himself being lifted from the ground as his fur began to elongate and wrap itself around his lower body. Once he was high enough, Sesshomaru took off towards a strip of land where he knew Rin would be safe.

He would come back on his own to finish his business here.

* * *

><p>The next day, found Rin taking a leaf out of Sesshomaru's book. She was resting under a large tree, while Sesshomaru was sitting on a branch higher up. He had sent Jaken off to feed Ah-Un once the sound of the beast's growling stomach had gotten to be too much for him.<p>

Rin's eyes were closed. She was thinking about how once again she had caused trouble for Lord Sesshomaru, and while this did lower her spirits some, her trouble-making had led to her being carried away to safety in his arms. That last thought definitely lifted her spirits, so much so that she could almost forget the way that his eyes had swept over her disheveled form so dismissively.

Rin sighed. Since when did she care how Lord Sesshomaru looked at her so long as looked at her? What happened to her not being delusional enough to want his love? Ever since he had let her touch him that summer day, she had been plagued with strange yearnings and dreams that always left her unsatisfied in a way that she couldn't define.

She reached her hands out to the side of her in search of her water flask. Her left hand hit something, and she ran her hand over it. It was Lord Sesshomaru's chest plate. Rin continued running her hands over the ground nearest her. When she came up empty, Rin opened her eyes and looked around the camp site. There it was, on the side that was farthest away from her. She must have left it over there, when she had helped Master Jaken unload Ah-Un before taking him off in search of grass.

Rin slowly got to her feet, using the tree at her back for support. She had turned her right ankle in yesterday's skirmish, and was thus reduced to hopping everywhere like an idiot. She was grateful that Lord Sesshomaru had chosen to rest for the day instead of continuing with his patrols.

Once Rin was stable on her left leg, she began to hop across the clearing. Sesshomaru watched her childish antics with amusement from his perch in the tree. Once she reached whatever she had hopped across the site to get – her water flask he saw - she turned and began to wobble dangerously. Sesshomaru was there in an instant. His hands wrapped around Rin's upper arms and pulled her upright.

Rin quickly pushed herself out of Sesshomaru's arms once she had regained her balance. She didn't think that she could handle being so close to him again when so little time had passed since the last time. Unfortunately, in her haste to get away from him, Rin came down on her right foot and felt a huge jolt of pain shoot through her leg. Both of her knees gave out.

Sesshomaru caught her once again, this time pulling her close to him. Rin's ankle was throbbing. Without thinking she laid her head on Sesshomaru's armorless chest and pressed herself closer to him.

Meanwhile, Sesshomaru slowly ran his hands from Rin's upper arms to her waist. Once they had reached his destination, he gently pushed her away. Rin looked up and gave him a small, sad smile.

He had just realized that Rin was no longer a child. He had been aware of this fact for quite some time now. He had noted her growth, her changing scent, her engagement, but he had still seen Rin as the brave, yet foolish child who had tried to nurse him back to health. It wasn't until this very moment, when he had felt her small, pert breasts pressed against his chest, that Sesshomaru had realized that Rin was now a woman in practically every sense of the word.

He needed to put some space between them, especially since her scent was one of regret. Rin didn't want him to let go of her. What that knowledge did to his rapidly heating body just confirmed his need for space right now.

Sesshomaru was about to head back to his perch when he realized that it would probably be best if he took Rin back to her resting spot. So he picked her up, quickly set her down under the tree and then jumped back into the branches.

As the day wore on Sesshomaru waited for the urges that had suddenly roared back into to life to subside. He flatly refused to engage in a non-platonic relationship with his ward. He had principles; he had standards; it didn't matter that she would be able to bear him full-blooded heirs - he was not like the demons that had attacked her yesterday. He probably needed a woman. Rin had just brought his long dormant needs to the surface. On and on it went, and still the urge to ravish Rin was there. He had to take care of this, preferably before shutting himself in for the next couple of months with her.

Suddenly Sesshomaru wasn't looking forward to winter.


	10. Tension

**A/N: It's been a while since I last updated and I'm sorry for that. It seems that the time between my updates are slowly growing longer and longer. I'll try to work on that. As for the chapter . . . I'm a little nervous about this one, and I'm definitely nervous about the next one since it'll probably be a lemon (I don't know if that's moving too fast). Rin and Sesshomaru's relationship is going to be more about sex than about love in the beginning, especially on Sesshomaru's end. And for the purposes of this story I put Sesshomaru at 500-700 years old. I also took what my dogs did when they were younger as inspiration for a small portion of the chapter (I'm sure you'll be able to tell which portion it is), just in case it seems OOC.**

**Well that's it. Thanks to all of you who review. I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think.**

**I do not own Inuyasha.**

Snow had fallen a few days earlier, creating a very scenic view outside. Sesshomaru, Jaken and Rin had made it back to the estate just before the first snow had fallen. Rin had come down with a small cold after arriving, but it had been nothing severe.

Despite the cold beauty outside, it was very tense inside the house. It was a well-known fact that Sesshomaru had been in a bad mood upon arriving, but unfortunately his bad mood had yet to disappear. As such, everyone had been tiptoeing around him. He had already fired two maids and almost strangled a male servant, all for no apparent reason. The servants had been hoping that Rin would be able to charm him out of his bad mood the way that she had been able to in the past, but even she wasn't having any luck with appeasing him. In fact, Sesshomaru seemed worse off after seeing Rin than he had been before.

While everyone quietly speculated on what could be the cause of their lord's foul disposition, Jaken sat back with a smug smile on his face. Of course he knew what was causing Lord Sesshomaru's bad mood: he needed a woman. By Jaken's calculations, it had been a little over thirty years since Lord Sesshomaru had last indulged his manly needs, and he quite clearly needed to indulge them again.

For once, Jaken was actually happy that there were other servants around, because whenever Lord Sesshomaru got to be like this . . . well it wasn't pretty. Last time his lord had stepped on him and broken his back at least three times, almost drowned him and just barely refrained from breaking Jaken's neck. All deliberate mind you. At least with all of these people around, Jaken wouldn't be the only one to experience pain at Lord Sesshomaru's hands.

At one point, the servant's speculations became so outrageous that Jaken had been sorely tempted to tell them what was really going on, but he had stopped at the last minute. Jaken was too fond of living to correct the servant's misguided notions.

Currently Sesshomaru was barricaded in his workroom and trying to concentrate on the scroll that was in front of him, but it was proving to be harder than he thought. Every time he looked at it an image of him deflowering Rin would pop into his mind. It was becoming very annoying, especially since it was all he could seem to think about. Why did he have to try to prevent her from falling? If he hadn't he would still be blissfully unaware of the fact that his little ward had developed breasts. Small breasts, but breasts all the same.

Sesshomaru gave himself a mental shake - he was doing it again. Sesshomaru sat up straighter and turned his attention to the scroll that was laid out in front of him. It was about a trade agreement with the south. Sesshomaru tapped his fingers on the table. The north had always had strong ties to the west and it was common knowledge that the demons of the north despised the demons of the south. If he endorsed to this agreement he would be putting his ties with the north a risk. Was it worth it?

Sesshomaru pulled out a blank scroll and set it up on the table. He didn't quite know what he was going to do yet, but he picked up the brush anyway. Sesshomaru pondered the pros and cons of the situation from both sides. If he agreed then he would lose the political and military support of the north, not that he particularly cared about those. However the north did hold some raw material that was useless to humans, but pure gold to demons. Sesshomaru wasn't sure he was ready to lose access to that material. Decision made, he dipped his brush into the ink and began writing. As he wrote his mind began to stray once more.

Rin was unusually tall for a woman, especially a human woman. Even with her extra height he still dwarfed her. Her head didn't even reach the top of his chest. But that wasn't important, because Sesshomaru was positive that she would complement him perfectly once they were horizontal . . .

The door to the workroom opened and Jaken entered carrying a large tray that was stacked with more scrolls. "These just arrived milord," said the imp setting the tray down next to the other scrolls.

Sesshomaru felt his temper rise. There was a never ending supply of scrolls that needed his attention. While this normally irritated him, today it sent him over the edge. The brush that Sesshomaru was holding snapped in two and his claws pierced his own flesh. When he looked up, it was to see Jaken slowly backing out the room while bowing repeatedly and apologizing.

Sesshomaru glared at Jaken until the door closed behind the imp. This was all Rin's fault. He normally never let his work pile up like this. And the stupid scroll that he had been looking at was the first one that he had pulled out that morning. Sesshomaru glanced out the window. It was completely dark outside. Wonderful. He had only gotten to one scroll today, and that didn't even count because he still hadn't finished replying to the contents within it. And he hadn't finished replying because he was too consumed with thoughts of deflowering his ward to concentrate on anything else.

Sesshomaru sighed. He needed to do something about this obsession and quickly.

* * *

><p>A few days later Sesshomaru joined Rin and Jaken for dinner.<p>

This was a very rare occurrence. Sesshomaru didn't have to eat as often as Rin and Jaken did, and whenever he was hungry he usually took his meals alone. Needless to say Rin was very nervous. Like everyone else, she had noticed Sesshomaru's mood and wasn't quite sure what to make of it. It was strange that she wasn't able to soften him just a little bit. But then again . . .

Rin noticed that Sesshomaru's bad mood had begun after that incident at the camp site when he'd held her. Perhaps he was still angry at her indecent behavior, she thought. As Rin thought back to that afternoon, she felt a very hot blush working its way to her cheeks. It had felt so nice to be held like that by him.

"What's wrong with you, girl? Stop staring off into space and pour Lord Sesshomaru some water," Jaken said nervously.

Rin's face darkened even more when she glanced around to see Lord Sesshomaru looking at her with a slight frown on his face. His hands were clenched into fists on his lap. Rin reached for the water jug and poured some into the bowl that her lord was now holding out to her.

She couldn't let her mind wander like that again. She had to be focused enough to read what little she could from Lord Sesshomaru and make this rare occasion a pleasant one. With that in mind, Rin set out to be her most charming self. Maybe she could make up for her temporary lapse. Why, oh why did she have to suddenly develop romantic feelings towards him? Things would be so much easier if she hadn't.

Sesshomaru's thoughts were running along the same lines as Rin's, only his feelings towards her weren't romantic in the least. Far from it. It was all he could do not to rip Rin's clothes off and wench her senseless. Sesshomaru knew that Jaken's presence alone was the only thing preventing him from doing just that.

Ever since that incident at the camp site, Sesshomaru had avoided being alone with Rin. Jaken was essential to that end. Just being in a room with Rin was working on his senses. Suddenly he wished that Jaken had some backbone. If Sesshomaru truly wanted to be alone with her, he would just have to tell Jaken to leave, or better yet throw him out.

Even so, this was the closest that he would allow himself to get to Rin, because he simply didn't trust himself where she was concerned. Sesshomaru never reacted the way that he should whenever Rin was involved. And while it was true that he was no longer at the age where he humped everything in sight, he still didn't trust himself with Rin.

She looked really beautiful tonight. Her hair hung loosely down her back in thick, glossy sheets of the darkest black. Her creamy cheeks still held some color from her earlier blushes, which only enhanced the rich chocolaty depths of her eyes. Her lips . . . he wasn't even going to go there. Rin's eyes were sparkling as she laughed at something Jaken said. Sesshomaru didn't think that he had ever seen anything more beautiful.

What's wrong with me, Sesshomaru asked himself. The next thing you knew he would be waxing poetical about how she was the light of his soul or something like that. Sesshomaru turned back towards his food.

Rin was back in those elaborate kimonos that he bought for her. This both pleased and annoyed Sesshomaru. It pleased him because he would no longer be treated to glimpses of her form that the simple summer kimonos had provided, yet this was also the reason why it annoyed him. Those damn kimonos were part of the reason why it had taken Sesshomaru so long to realize that Rin wasn't a child anymore. They hid her form so effectively, that even with her mature scent - Sesshomaru still hadn't really put two and two together in his mind. If he could've at least seen proof that her growth wasn't just vertical then it wouldn't have thrown him through such a loop.

* * *

><p>Later on that evening Sesshomaru was prowling the estate feeling very satisfied with himself. He had knocked out a huge chunk of work once dinner was over and hadn't thought of Rin since he'd left her. Now he was taking a much needed break. Sesshomaru had come to the conclusion a while ago that he needed a woman. The problem was that it couldn't be just any woman. Enter his mother. She kept so many "friend-of-a-friends" at her house that it would be a simple matter to find one suitable for his needs. He had already decided that he would visit her in three days. He needed to drop some things off there anyway. It would be like killing two birds with one stone.<p>

Sesshomaru was strolling through the servant's section of the house near the kitchens – it was the fastest way to reach his rooms. He was thinking about retiring for the night when he turned a corner and came to an abrupt stop. Rin was close by. No sooner had that sunk in than he heard a door open and saw her coming out of a room. The kitchen, he vaguely realized. What the hell was she doing here? It was so late that even the servants had retired for the night.

Rin turned down the hallway and stopped. Lord Sesshomaru was standing at the far end of the hallway staring at her. Rin blushed as her heart sped up. What was he doing here, she wondered.

Rin had had trouble sleeping and so had come down to the kitchen to fix a remedy that Kaede taught her that helped with insomnia. The last person she had been expecting to run into was Lord Sesshomaru. She wondered briefly what to do.

The hallway that they were standing in was narrow. She could make it past without touching him if she pressed her back to wall once she reached him. It was either that or turn in the opposite direction and spend an extra five minutes getting to her room. Rin looked down at herself. She wasn't wearing her heaviest robe and she was already freezing. There was no way she was going to wander the halls and get even colder just because she was a little nervous. Besides it wasn't like she could just go back into the kitchen. Even though he hadn't said anything she knew that he saw her.

Rin took a deep breath before taking a tentative step forward. "Lord Sesshomaru," she said. He didn't say anything, not that she had been expecting him to. Rin took another step forward more sure of herself.

Sesshomaru watched Rin take another step towards him before he began moving. He was not going to let his feelings for a human girl rule him. He could be alone with Rin and be just fine, especially since they were just passing each other.

As they walked past each other the backs of their hands brushed up against one another.

Rin suddenly found herself pressed against the wall with Lord Sesshomaru's lips hard on hers. Her eyes were wide as she felt him pull back and begin to lightly nip at her lower lip, until she parted her lips and he surged inside. Rin's eyes closed as her arms wrapped themselves around Sesshomaru's neck. He pressed his body closer to hers and she felt her knees go out.

Sesshomaru pushed Rin's head back as he tilted his own to deepen the kiss. Once his tongue had explored every inch of her mouth, he concentrated on getting her own tongue to explore. When it had ventured past his lips, Sesshomaru gently sucked on it drawing her deeper into the kiss.

Rin was dimly aware that one of her hands had found its way to Sesshomaru's hair and was gripping a handful of it very tightly while pulling him closer to her. His kisses became more urgent and she felt his hands on her waist. Sesshomaru ran one hand up her back, tracing the line of her spine and effectively pinning her to him. Then both hands came down on her derriere and hoisted her up, so that her loins were pressed tightly against his.

Rin's legs wrapped around Sesshomaru's waist instinctively, and a shiver shook her body. He kissed his way down her neck, across her collar bone and back up the other side. Then Sesshomaru planted kisses along her cheek until her reached her mouth once more.

Sesshomaru pressed her lower half flat against the wall, and set his hands on her waist to hold her there. Then he began to rock himself against her. Rin's fingers dug into his back, her toes curled, then a moan forced its way out of her mouth.

That little sound was all it took to snap Sesshomaru back to his senses. He was down the hall and out the door before Rin realized what was going on.

Rin's bottom hit the floor with a loud thump. She was breathing heavily and her robe had fallen off one shoulder. While she wasn't sure what just happened, she wasn't going deny that she had enjoyed every minute of it.

* * *

><p>Sesshomaru leaned his forehead against a tree and closed his eyes in shame. It was freezing outside, but that suited him just fine. He needed to cool off. Sesshomaru couldn't believe that he had run away from her. If anyone should be running away it should be her.<p>

He straightened and pressed a hand to the tree. It fell over with a satisfying crash.

This ends now.


	11. Surrender Part 1

A/N: This is another two part chapter. It took me forever to write and it's the first time that I've ever written a lime/lemon, so please let me know how I did. I would like to get better. I hope that you enjoy this chapter and review once you're done reading it because I love reading reviews :)

I do not own Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru was currently pacing in his workroom. He was supposed to be catching up on all the work that he had missed during his three week absence but was unable to focus on it. A fact which was annoying him to no end. But the pacing was scaring him. Sesshomaru had never paced a day in his life. It was for weak, sniveling cowards who were unable to make up their minds. He chose to forget the fact that he had all but become a weak, sniveling coward when it came to a certain someone in his life.

After kissing Rin, Sesshomaru had come back to the house for all of fifteen minutes to gather Jaken and the scrolls that he needed to drop off at his mother's home. Then he had left telling Rena to watch over Rin while he was gone.

Upon arriving at his mother's home, Sesshomaru had quickly taken care of his official reasons for the visit and was relieved to learn that Lady Funaho was out visiting the Lord and Lady of the North. He then proceeded to spend the next two weeks rutting his brains out. He figured that would cure his current obsession with Rin.

Once he was sure that he was satisfied and had his hormones under control, he promptly left his mother's home and made his way back to the lake estate and Rin. Unfortunately all of his efforts were for nothing, because the moment Sesshomaru laid eyes on Rin he became aroused. He wanted to hate her for what she did to him. It had been a long time since he had lost control like that and all he did was look at her for Kami's sake. He supposed that he should have been grateful that the only other person in the room was Jaken who – thankfully – didn't have a strong sense of smell.

Ever since he had returned Sesshomaru had been playing hide – and – seek with Rin, he being the one who was hiding. Now here he was burning a hole through the floors because he couldn't figure out what to do.

Why was he so averse to engaging in intimate relations with Rin? She was more than perfect for him. She was one of the rare and coveted Kazufuhei, which meant that she would probably be able to bear him heirs that even a full-blooded demoness would not be able to match in strength. She was incredibly beautiful. She knew how to read his moods which was an extra plus as far as he was concerned. She didn't always want to talk or laugh or engage in all the other irritating behavior that females seemed to think was attractive. She was very smart and practical, not to mention a fast learner. She had never known the touch of a man – well she hadn't before he kissed her, but still . . . Rin was the only woman he could think of who was worthy enough to be Lady of the West. So then, why?

Perhaps he just didn't want to be like all the other demons. He didn't want to desire someone because of their ability to bear strong children. He wasn't that desperate. And yet, Sesshomaru also knew that his desire for Rin was not inspired by her reproductive abilities. That was just an excuse.

Perhaps he still wasn't comfortable with the idea of mating with a human? Sesshomaru quickly dismissed that thought. He had gotten over Rin's human-ness a long time ago, and besides she wasn't just any human. But . . . maybe that was it. Maybe it was because she was Rin. Sesshomaru had been with plenty of women in the past and he had always grown bored with them, and when Sesshomaru got bored he usually wanted nothing more to do with whatever had caused that boredom.

Maybe the reason why he's been so resistant was because he couldn't bring himself to do that to Rin. Sesshomaru knew that if he got bored with Rin then he would either choose to leave her at the lake estate or send her someplace where he wouldn't have to see her. Both of those options were unacceptable, because he wouldn't send her somewhere close enough for him to still be able to protect her from the numerous demons who were just dying to have her in their possession.

Sesshomaru finally stopped pacing and closed his eyes for a brief instant. Yet he also couldn't deny what he now considered to be inevitable. He would eventually claim Rin as his, of that he had no doubt. It was probably what his mother had been secretly hoping for when she suggested that he bring Rin back under his care.

So many things had changed since she had rejoined him. She had fallen in love, almost gotten married and somehow turned into a woman of strength, elegance and beauty while he wasn't looking.

She had also developed a strong attraction to him. Sesshomaru wondered briefly just how she had hidden that from him as long as she had. Rin had obviously learned a thing or two from him. However, her attraction was out in the open now – at least it was between the two of them. Now Rin's desire hit him like a slap in the face every time he was in the same room with her.

Sesshomaru realized that he was pacing once more. He mentally cursed but continued to perform the indecisive behavior.

Now that he had come to grips with the likely outcome of the situation with Rin, he needed to figure a few more things out. Like how and when to deflower his soon to be lover.

The when was easy: Sesshomaru would go to her tonight. The how . . . that was a little more tricky. He had never mated with a human before. Sesshomaru knew that they were very frail creatures and the last thing he wanted was to hurt Rin. He would be causing her enough pain by just engaging in the act with her, and Sesshomaru wasn't sure he had ever been gentle when rutting. This was going to require a great deal of thought and restraint.

And so, Sesshomaru spent the rest of the day thinking of the best way to go about deflowering Rin.

Later on that night Sesshomaru stood outside the door to Rin's rooms. He had waited until the servants had retired for the night before making his way to the other side of the house. He felt a huge rush of excitement flow throw his veins as he took in the scent and sounds of the woman moving around on the other side of the door. He normally didn't feel this excited about anything unless he was heading into battle against a worthy opponent.

Sesshomaru lifted his hand to knock on the wood panel of the wall before lowering it. He closed his eyes and worked on calming himself. After all, there was no need to scare the girl. Sesshomaru felt his inner demon – which had been clamoring for this since before he and his companions had returned for the winter – settle down with an air of expectancy.

"Rin," he called out to her. Sesshomaru heard a pause in the movements behind the door, before the sound of pattering feet greeted him. He caught her nervousness and excitement just before she slid the door open.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I-I wasn't expecting you. I was just getting ready for bed," she said gesturing at her attire. Sesshomaru briefly ran his eyes over the emerald green sleeping robe before stepping past her into the room. He refused to stand out in the hallway like some uncertain lover waiting for the go ahead.

"Close the door Rin," Sesshomaru told her when all she did was stand there gaping at him. Rin's mouth snapped shut and she hurriedly pulled the door closed. Left with nothing to do, Rin began to wring her hands before stopping. She shouldn't be so open with her feelings.

Rin looked at Sesshomaru only to find him staring at her with an intensity that left her breathless and giddy. "Drink," she blurted out. No, that didn't come out right, so she tried again. "Would you like something to drink, my lord?" All she got in response was a grunt, which she took to mean yes and rushed over to a small table that held a carafe and a drinking bowl.

Once Rin could no longer see Sesshomaru she felt air rush back into her lungs. She snuck a peak at him over her shoulder before turning back to pouring water into the bowl. He looked even more gorgeous than usual tonight. Sesshomaru was still wearing his day clothes which consisted of a kimono and hakama in a deep midnight blue with silver embroidery lining the neck and shoulders. His fur was draped over his shoulder as it always was and his armor was in a closet in his rooms. His silver hair was no longer pulled away from his face, since he wasn't working on his scrolls and thus hung loosely down his back. Most telling, his feet were bare. It was the bare feet that clued Rin in to the fact that something more was going on. Lord Sesshomaru never walked around the house with his feet bare.

As Rin turned around she saw him shift uncomfortably from one foot to another. She felt nervous again. Something was wrong. Lord Sesshomaru never visited her rooms so late at night and he never did anything that hinted that he might be uncomfortable. When she had first heard his voice through the thin screen door she had felt so giddy she could have floated over to door. Now all she felt was anxiety.

Rin walked over to Sesshomaru and handed him the drinking bowl. She noticed that her hand was shaking and knew that it wouldn't be lost on him. Sesshomaru took the bowl and, with his eyes never leaving Rin's, drained the contents with it. It was all Rin could do not to smile like an idiot. She was having a very hard time breathing. Without knowing it, her eyes dropped to his lips. She wanted him to kiss her again.

Rin took one step closer to Sesshomaru, then another. As she took the final step that would bring her body against his, Rin tilted her head back and stared into mesmerizing pools of gold. She sensed rather than saw the movement, and closed her eyes just as Sesshomaru lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers.

The contact was soft and gentle at first, then it turned into something fierce and wild. Rin all but wrapped herself around Sesshomaru's body. Her hands found their way into his silken locks and pulled him closer to her – deepening the kiss. And one of her legs was trying it's best to wrap itself around his waist. Rin felt keen frustration as her leg only managed to wrap around Sesshomaru's muscular thigh. She pulled away from the kiss dimly aware that Sesshomaru's hands were running up and down her back. Just like before, she felt his fingers run up her spine pinning her chest to his own. Then his hands went down over her bottom and lifted her so that her legs could wrap around his waist.

Sesshomaru's clawed hand gripped a handful of Rin's hair and gently pulled her head back while he ran his fangs down the side of her throat, gently marking her there. His other hand was pressing Rin's torso to his own while periodically dipping down to caress her derriere.

Rin was breathing heavily by now and squirming in Sesshomaru's arms. She wanted to feel the same sensations that she had felt the last time that he held her like this but didn't have enough leverage to grind herself against him the way she would like. Sesshomaru released his hold on her hair and brought her mouth to his once more and he began walking towards Rin's futon in the next room. The movement sent his body grinding against Rin's and she moaned loudly into his mouth.

Rin heard a loud ripping sound and felt a cool breeze on her skin shortly after. She was too engrossed in what she was doing to care that Sesshomaru had just ripped her favorite sleeping kimono. As her back came into contact with something soft and warm underneath her, Rin opened her eyes. They were no longer in her sitting room but were now in her bedroom, on her futon. Rin shut her eyes again. Oh Kami.

Rin's thought scattered once more as she received another heated kiss from Sesshomaru. He was draped over her in a fashion that she found arousing in the extreme, with both of his arms caging her head in and one thigh pressed between hers. Every now and then he would rub that thigh against her core sending huge jolts of pleasure through her body. Suddenly Sesshomaru's lips were gone and Rin took the opportunity to hesitantly raise a hand to the neckline of his kimono. Before she could slip her hand inside, she felt his lips tracing a path down her neck and onto her chest. As he kissed his way across the swell of one breast, Rin's hand moved away from his neckline and began to pull his kimono out of his hakama.

Sesshomaru captured her nipple in his mouth and Rin's body arched off the futon. His mouth was so hot! Her hands were once more in his hair, holding him close to her. Without warning, Sesshomaru pulled away from her and pulled his kimono over his head. Then he stood up and pulled his hakama off paying little attention to the fact that he ripped parts of it.

Rin sucked in a breath as she caught sight of him naked. The first thing that came to her mind was that he definitely was _not_ Inuyasha. His shoulders were broader, his chest more defined, his muscles bigger. She was actually surprised by how big he was outside of his clothes. Rin hadn't been aware of how much smaller they made him seem until that moment.

Not giving her anywhere near enough time to look at him, Sesshomaru dropped back down to his knees and crawled over Rin's body caging her in with his limbs. Rin's protest died on her lips as she felt her core contract painfully. It didn't make sense for a man to be this sexy.

Sesshomaru slowly lowered his body to Rin's and they both moaned at the first contact of their naked bodies. Sesshomaru turned his attention to Rin's other breast and proceeded to give it the same attention as the other had received. By this time, Rin was on her way to being completely mindless. When Sesshomaru began to kiss a trial down her stomach she arched her back off the futon again. She wanted something and she didn't know what it was - she just knew that she wanted it now, needed it now.

Sesshomaru slipped one hand down to caress Rin's thigh. He was in the grips of one of the most powerful sexual storms he had ever experienced in his life. But he wasn't so far gone that he'd forgotten that he needed to prepare Rin's body to receive him. With that in mind Sesshomaru ran his hand over her sex before he slowly slipped one finger inside her. He was immediately rewarded with a gasp followed by a soft moan. Rin's body arched off the futon once again and her hips tilted to allow him better access. Oh Kami, Sesshomaru bit back a groan. She was far too sensual for her own good, definitely for his own peace of mind.

Rin's body was more than he could have hoped for. He already knew that she had long limbs, but he hadn't been expecting her legs to be as shapely as they were. Her breasts were small and pert, her waist narrow and her hips wide. She also had a very generous, perfectly rounded bottom. Sesshomaru promised himself that he would devote more time to that area later.

Sesshomaru began to move his finger in and out of Rin's body. He planted kisses across her stomach and slowly began working his way back up to her breasts. When he reached them he slipped another finger in. Rin stiffened slightly before relaxing into his caresses once more. Her moans were like ambrosia to his ears. Sesshomaru worked his way up to her collar bone, then her neck. He felt Rin move her legs so that they were further apart, and he resisted the urge to speed up his ministrations. Sesshomaru planted kisses up Rin's neck and over her chin before kissing her lips. As his tongue slid inside her mouth he slipped yet another finger into Rin's sheath.

This time Rin's head tilted backwards and she gave a brief noise of discomfort. Sesshomaru released her from the kiss and waited for a sign for him to continue. Rin was still for a few moments before she began to shift restlessly. He began to move his hand once more, aware of Rin's pants and moans, the way her body was shaking and most of all her smell. Her arousal was a very heady scent of crushed flowers, sweat and musk.

Sesshomaru watched as his fingers moved in and out of Rin's body. Her hips began bucking violently and Sesshomaru speed up his movements. He listened to Rin's moans which were quickly reaching the volume of screams and felt her body start to pulsate around his fingers. He sped up even more and felt her body contract tightly around his fingers. Rin's body slowly arched before collapsing onto the futon. Sesshomaru was in awe. Never had a woman given herself to him with such abandon before.

Sesshomaru removed his fingers and began to lick them clean. Once they were clean he looked at Rin. Her face was flushed and sweaty; her chest was moving up and down rapidly. He lowered his head and gently nipped at Rin's lower lip. She brought a shaky hand to his face and he turned his head slightly so that he could nibble on her fingertips. He glanced up at her face to see her staring at him from heavily lidded eyes. Without breaking eye contact Sesshomaru nibbled down her palm to the inside of her wrist where he pressed a kiss. Rin closed her eyes, and a shiver went through her body. Sesshomaru smiled.

He waited a few more minutes before he began kissing her again. He hoped that she was ready for more.


	12. Surrender Part 2

**A/N: Here's part two. **

The kiss that Sesshomaru gave Rin was slow and deep – it was intended to slowly spark her passions once more. It worked beautifully. Within seconds Rin had her arms around his neck and was pressing her body to his. Sesshomaru pulled away once more and lowered himself so that his head was between Rin's thighs.

He started to nip and lick a line down one inner thigh and felt her hands in his hair once more. Then Sesshomaru turned his attention to her other thigh and started to nip his way up to her core. He felt Rin's thighs shaking slightly and caught a faint whiff of unease, but it was quickly overshadowed by her desire. Once he reached her core he planted a wet kiss on her outer lips and felt Rin jump.

"Lord Sesshomaru, what are you –," was as far as she got before her eyes slid shut and her body shot off the mattress. Sesshomaru had parted her folds and kissed her again, only this time he had pushed his tongue past her outer lips.

Sesshomaru pulled back and positioned Rin's body so that her sex was closer, then wrapped his hands around her thighs and parted her folds once more. He lowered his head and delved his tongue back into her, already addicted to her taste.

Rin felt nothing but pure pleasure. She was trying desperately to breathe evenly but was fast losing the fight. As Sesshomaru continued to dip his tongue into her sex Rin began to let go again. She rocked her hips against his face while her hands in his hair held him down. Rin felt something soft begin to wrap around her left leg. A quick glance down showed that it was Sesshomaru's fur which was elongating and expanding to cover her futon.

Rin's toes curled tightly as familiar sensations began to overtake her body. She brought her hand over her mouth to mute her moans but that wasn't very effective as she keep moving her hands from Sesshomaru's hair, to the covers on the futon and back up to her mouth. Her head fell back as her body began to shake once more. Rin tried weakly to move out of Sesshomaru's grasp but all she succeeded in doing was spurring him to begin an even more intense assault on her over sensitized body.

Rin's eyes rolled to the back of her head as she experienced her second climax of the night. Her body was convulsing uncontrollably and she was barely aware of where she was. She highly doubted that she would be able to move, she was so sated.

Sesshomaru licked the last of Rin's juices from her sex as he felt her body go limp on the floor. This was where he wanted her: relaxed and open. He gently slipped an arm under her back and lifted her so that his fur could go under her shoulders and back. Then he quickly positioned himself between Rin's legs, dipped the head of his sex into her folds to dampen the tip and slowly started to push his way in.

Rin looked up at Sesshomaru as she felt something big and round slip into her. His eyes were closed and his face was tense. His whole body was tense actually. Rin turned her head to look at Sesshomaru's right hand which was braced near her head. It had created several small holes and tears in her futon. As she watched it created a fresh set of punctures. Rin turned to look back at Sesshomaru's face and felt a frown begin to form in her satiated mind as she felt whatever had entered her pull out.

Suddenly Sesshomaru sat up so that his backside was resting on his feet and pulled Rin so that she was straddling him. She got a glimpse of his massive manhood before he pulled her on top of him. Rin was filled with apprehension. Surely he wasn't going to try to put _that_ inside of her.

Fortunately Rin was still too weak to do much more than lean against Sesshomaru as he once more slid the tip of his sex inside her. Once he was inside of her, Sesshomaru brought his hands to Rin's bottom and slowly pressed in another inch. He buried his face in the crook of Rin's neck and pushed inside her just a little more. Then he gripped Rin's behind and slowly lifted her before allowing her to slide back down on him.

Rin had been slowly stroking the back of his neck while planting kisses along his shoulder. It was all Sesshomaru could do to hide his trembling from her. With each downward glide, Sesshomaru felt Rin's body become more accepting of his. He had chosen this position for a reason. One, it let him control how far he penetrated into her and the speed of his strokes. Two, this was the best position for him to use with her, because it didn't involve having her under him where it might not be so easy to control his strength. Besides she was a human and had very little chance of hurting him, so he felt comfortable exposing himself like this for her.

Sesshomaru caught a handful of Rin's hair once more and gently pulled her head back. He then brought a hand to cup her face and kissed her deeply. He quickly gathered her in his arms, lifted her and brought her down. He felt her scream into his mouth as her body tensed in his arms. Sesshomaru broke the kiss to see tears streaming down Rin's cheeks. He gently kissed them away.

His body was so tense that he felt like he would break into a million pieces. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in her wet, slick heat and holding himself back was one of the hardest things that he'd ever had to do. He had never been gripped so tightly before, which was understandable since Rin was his first virgin but . . . _kami_.

Slowly but surely, Rin's body began to relax. Sesshomaru gave a sigh of relief. He kissed her softly, waiting for her to join in before he once more began to move her body on his.

Rin wasn't quite sure what to make of what was happening. She had known that it would hurt, but she didn't think that it would hurt as much as it did. Up until that point having Sesshomaru's body inside hers had felt . . . uncomfortable, but she would take discomfort over pain any day. Now Rin just felt . . . full. Incredibly, unbelievably full. Somehow he had gotten the whole thing into her – at least she hoped he had.

Rin became aware that Sesshomaru was shaking slightly. She lifted her head from his shoulder where it had been resting for the past few minutes to look at him in awe. She had never seen him like this before. His face was flushed, his bangs clung to his sweaty face, his eyes were closed as he concentrated on the sensations that he was feeling.

She was pulled from her staring by a sudden jolt of pleasure rushing through her body. Rin gasped her brought her head to Sesshomaru's chest. Rin tried to catch her breath before another wave overwhelmed her. She pulled herself up Sesshomaru's body and kissed him, one hand gripping his neck while the other clutched a handful of his fur and pulled. She heard him groan loudly before she found herself with her back on his fur once more.

Her head fell back as Sesshomaru spread her legs wider and thrust deeply into her. Rin's eyes threatened to roll back in her head. She could barely breathe he was so high within her. Her hands came up to grip his upper arms and her legs wrapped around his waist instinctively.

After that Rin just rode out the storm. She tilted her hips to take him in deeper and was rewarded with faster thrusts. She writhed wantonly beneath him, surrendering herself to the sensations he was inflicting on her so relentlessly. Sure enough, Rin began to feel a tightening in her core – she wasn't sure if she could take another release, but it felt too good to stop now. A fierce shiver ran through her body, followed by the first contraction of her sheath.

Sesshomaru ran his fangs down Rin's neck for the second time that night. He wanted to bite her, he wanted to flip her over and take her from behind, he wanted to rut with her until she couldn't take anymore. But since he couldn't do any of those things yet, he would settle for giving her one more climax for the night. He felt the first rippling contractions of Rin's sheath, and growled deep in his chest. He thrust within her faster and harder, determined to bring her to release first.

Sesshomaru could hear Rin moaning uncontrollably. He watched as she brought a hand to her mouth before she quickly lowered it and brought it around his chest to his back. That was the last thing that Sesshomaru was really conscious of.

After that he and Rin became a gasping, clutching, shaking mass of limbs as they strove to reach the same thing.

Rin brought her nails down Sesshomaru's back as her body arched off the floor yet again, but it was quickly brought back to the futon again as Sesshomaru continued to thrust into her. Rin's arms wrapped around his neck and she gripped a handful of his hair, but it was her head that was pulled back as Sesshomaru groaned loudly and pitched deep into her before staying there. Rin then felt a series of spurts as something warm flooded her insides. They stayed that way for the next several seconds with Sesshomaru pushing into her with small, gentle thrusts until the spurts stopped.

After that he collapsed on her as he wiped her bangs from her brow with shaking hands.

* * *

><p>Rin woke slowly the next morning. She was sore all over her body and her eyes felt like there was sand in them - but other than that she felt great. Rin thought back to the cause of her good mood before she shot up from her futon. Unfortunately she was still too weak to sit up and fell back onto the blankets with a thump.<p>

She and Lord Sesshomaru . . . they had . . . oh Kami, how was she supposed to face him now. Rin cringed as she thought back to how she had practically thrown herself at him. He must think that she's some . . . some shameless hussy or something like that. Rin pulled the covers over her head and wished that she could just vanish into thin air.

She lowered the blankets and looked outside her window. It was close to noon. She never slept this late. Rin rolled over to her side and saw the remnants of her green kimono. She felt a smile force its way onto her face. So she had kind of seduced her protector, but he hadn't exactly pushed her away, right? That meant that he had wanted it to happen just as much as she had. She hugged herself as the realization dawned on her: Lord Sesshomaru found her desirable. This was truly one of the best days of her life. Rin lay there for a while longer before attempting to get up again.

An hour later Rin was walking down a corridor when she saw Lord Sesshomaru step out into the hallway. She didn't know why, but she panicked. She hadn't been expecting to see him this soon. Rin looked around for a door – any door – and pulled one open and stepped inside just as Sesshomaru turned his head in her direction.

It was a testament to how panicked Rin was that she forgot that Sesshomaru would know where she was regardless of where she hid. But at the moment, she could have cared less. Rin closed her eyes and turned around so that her back was to the door and prayed for Sesshomaru to walk by.

Sesshomaru watched Rin's antics with amusement. Was she hiding from him? That was a new one. Usually it was Sesshomaru who avoided the women he bedded like the plague, not the other way around. Sesshomaru walked to the door and waited. Rin would come out soon enough once she realized what she had walked in on.

"Lady Rin, is something wrong?" Rin's eyes flew open. She was about to start apologizing when she realized what she was seeing. Rin had walked in on two of the servants in the middle of . . . she couldn't bring herself to finish the thought. She looked away from the bed, her face flaming. She didn't think that it was possible to be any more embarrassed than she was.

Rin bowed her head while apologizing and backing out of the room. Once she was out she slammed the door shut and turned her head. Lord Sesshomaru was still there. She wondered vaguely how she could have thought that today was going to be a good day this morning.

Sesshomaru looked as impeccable as ever. He was back in white and his face was back to its normal stoic façade. Looking at him now Rin found it hard to believe that this was the same man who had been so passionate with her the night before.

Rin snapped out of her hazy state and bowed to Sesshomaru. "Good morning, my lord," she said.

"Rin," he replied. He walked past her and said, "I expect to see you at dinner tonight."

Rin's face got even hotter as she said, "Yes, my lord." As she watched him go, she couldn't help but wonder. Was that all he really had to say to her?

Sesshomaru caught Rin's confusion in the air. He had always been a private person. Anyone who knew him knew that. Therefore it was only common sense that he wouldn't discuss private matters in public. Sesshomaru thought back to the two servants that Rin had walked in on. He should fire them. They were supposed to working, not rutting like animals. They were lucky he was in such a good mood today.

As for Rin, he would deal with her and her amusing behavior when he saw her later on tonight.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I was thinking about doing another lemon before moving the story along. Let me know if I should or not. Thanks.**


	13. A Huge Step Forward Part 1

**A/N: Ok so it's been a while and I'm sorry about that, but I have a special treat for you this time. Not two, but **_**three**_**, that's right, **_**three**_** chapters. A whooping 15 pages! Needless to say I got carried away, but I hope that you enjoy it, because I enjoyed writing it ;-)**

**I do not own Inuyasha. It belongs to the lovely and talented Rumiko Takahashi.**

Rin was extremely proud of herself. She was sitting at the kotatsu eating breakfast with Master Jaken and had yet to humiliate herself. True she hadn't seen Lord Sesshomaru since last night, but she wasn't going to let that ruin her high spirits.

Ten days passed since her lord had shown up in her room. Rin had thought that it would be a while before Lord Sesshomaru came to her again, but he'd spent every night since the first with her. Rin hummed a song while putting more rice into her bowl. She didn't think it was possible for a person to be this happy.

Jaken watched as Rin hummed her song, blissfully unaware of the pointed glares that he'd been sending her way ever since she entered the meal room late. It wasn't her tardiness that was the cause of the imp's glares – she'd been late to breakfast for a while now – it was her happy mood.

Like everyone else at the estate, Jaken was aware of Rin's changed . . . status. Jaken lowered his head and continued eating. He still couldn't believe that Rin and Lord Sesshomaru were lovers. He knew his lord relatively well, and was understandably worried about the effect this relationship could have on Rin should things go . . . bad. More than enough time had passed for Lord Sesshomaru to make Rin's relationship to him clear, but he still had yet to do so. All anyone knew, including Rin, was that they were lovers.

Jaken personally thought that his lord was using Rin, which was the cause of his glares at the girl. He couldn't very well glare at Lord Sesshomaru - it might be the last thing he did. If his lord wanted Rin for a mate, he would have marked her. Rin was still unmarked. If he wanted Rin as his concubine, he would have told the staff she was his "consort", the correct way of honoring one's concubine in demon culture. The servants had yet to be informed. Jaken wanted badly to warn Rin not to let her heart run away with her, but he couldn't possibly do that. To do so would show a lack of faith in Lord Sesshomaru's intentions towards the girl. Jaken set his bowl down and began to wring his hands. What to do, what to do?

The door slid open and both he and Rin looked to see that it was Lord Sesshomaru. Jaken turned back to the table and saw a becoming blush spread across Rin's face as she gave their lord the most glorious smile the imp had ever seen. He fought back a groan. Clearly, it was too late for him to warn Rin not to fall in love with their stoic and aloof master. He only prayed that she didn't end up hurt. He was quite fond of the girl, though he would never admit it out loud.

"Rin, are you finished eating," Lord Sesshomaru asked. Rin nodded. Sesshomaru turned from the door and began walking away, leaving it open. Rin knew that she was to follow, so she quickly excused herself and rushed out the door, sliding it shut rather loudly.

Rin turned and saw that Lord Sesshomaru had paused down the hallway. He glanced over his shoulder before he continued walking. Rin quickly hurried after him. Eventually they came to his workroom.

Sesshomaru entered and waited for Rin to close the door. She turned her small, beautiful face towards him and blushed again. Sesshomaru was still reeling from that smile she'd given him when he opened the door to the meal room. If he'd been the type to smile like some lovesick puppy then he would have done so. As it was he'd kept his purpose for seeking her out in mind, resisting the overwhelming urge to drag her to the nearest bedroom and pay her back in kind for that smile.

Rin was pregnant and had been so for the last three days. Sesshomaru was a little surprised at how quickly he'd pupped her. It took female demons much longer to conceive even when they were in heat. He was hoping to at least have a full month with her before having to deal with pregnancy and all the inconveniences that came with it. Of course, Rin didn't know of her condition yet, but he would tell her tonight. He would also tell her that she was one of the Kazufuhei and what that meant so that she wouldn't be shocked should she give birth to a pup instead of a half-breed. But first things first. "Rin, I want you to move all your things into my rooms by the end of the day," he told her.

Rin's eyes grew big as she digested what he said. Then she cleared her throat and asked, "Your rooms as in your _personal_ rooms, or your rooms as in the suite of rooms?"

"My personal rooms, Rin," Sesshomaru clarified, although it was good that she asked. He occupied the rooms belonging to the Lord and Lady of the house; as such the suite consisted of two bedrooms separated by a sitting room. Rin would be sleeping with him from now on, not in the room intended for the Lady of the house. That would be where the pup stayed.

Because Rin was pregnant, Sesshomaru needed to be close to her for several reasons. First, it would appease his protective instincts knowing she was close at hand. Second, he wanted to hide her scent – which would be proclaiming to all in the vicinity her state – as much as possible. Rin was very vulnerable to being kidnapped right now even though she didn't know it. Sesshomaru wouldn't put it past some stupid fool to try to take Rin and raise his pup as their own. There were some incredibly idiotic demons out there. And third, he needed to be close at hand in order to scent any changes in Rin that might warn of danger to herself or the pup.

He'd already asked Rena if she'd noticed any alarming changes in Rin's scent besides the obvious and had been told no. So far both Rin and the pup were fine, but it was a well-known fact that dog demon pups were notoriously difficult to carry to full term. The next eight months were going to be very difficult for Rin.

He was pulled from his musings by Rin. "Yes, my lord." Her head was bowed in the proper show of respect. Sesshomaru stepped closer to her and brought his hand to her cheek, cupping it and lifting her head so that he could see her rich, velvety eyes. He stared into those eyes for a while, watching as a blush spread across Rin's cheeks. It amused him that she blushed so easily, although he'd be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy it. Besides he knew that he would be hard pressed to get a blush out of Rin in due time. Might as well enjoy it while it lasted. Sesshomaru lowered his hand and turned away, walking to his desk. As he lowered himself to the table he said, "Then I'll see you tonight."

Rin shakily agreed and left the room.

* * *

><p>Rin spent the rest of the day packing up her things and sending them up to Lord Sesshomaru's rooms. She wondered why he suddenly wanted her in the same room as him. It seemed out of character for Lord Sesshomaru to want someone in his personal space. And because of her lack of experience with men, Rin didn't know if this was a natural progression to something deeper or not. Rin sighed and picked up the last thing in her now empty room - a white orchid. With it in hand, she headed up to what would now be her sleeping quarters.<p>

Lord Sesshomaru's rooms were on the other side of the house from her own, so it was quite a trek before she reached her destination. Rin pulled her heavy, winter kimono close as she reached the hallway that held her lord's rooms.

As she approached the sliding door, Rin felt both nervous and excited – she'd never been inside Lord Sesshomaru's rooms before. Sliding the door open she stepped into an enormous and spacious sitting room.

The first thing Rin noticed was that the room was practically bare. There was a low table that served as a desk in the middle of the room. Off to the side of it sat Lord Sesshomaru's armor on a stand. So he didn't keep it in a closet, Rin thought to herself. She'd always thought he had.

The wall across from the desk held the Tenseiga and Bakusaiga. They had been positioned so that they were hanging in the middle of the wall, and were framed by two extremely old pieces of parchment. Rin wandered over to see what they said, but the language wasn't human.

One wall held two large windows. In the space between the windows were large bookcases that went from the floor to the ceiling, three in all. Every space within the cases was packed with books, scrolls and pamphlets. Near the first window sat another low table, which held a carafe of water and some drinking bowls. Rin walked over to the table and set her orchid on it. Then she walked over to the windows and peered out. It was snowing. Lord Sesshomaru had a beautiful view of the lake at the back of the house. She took a moment to take in the frozen beauty of the outside world.

Rin shivered. It was very cold in there. She pulled her kimono close once more. A quick survey of the room showed that it contained fire pits to keep it warm, but none of them had been lit. There were also two doors that led to different rooms. One of these rooms was dark, while the other was bright. The bright room must be Lord Sesshomaru's, Rin concluded.

Rin looked at the door that led to the Lady of the house's room, the room she felt would be more appropriate for her to be in. She was still a little uneasy about sleeping in the same room as Lord Sesshomaru. It wasn't that they hadn't done it before, she just felt like she was crossing some line. Rin shook her disquieting thoughts aside and turned to the room that Sesshomaru slept in. She pulled the door opened and gasped.

Warm air hit her face the moment the door opened. Rin hurriedly stepped inside and closed the door. Then she turned around to survey the opulent surroundings once more. Her eyes were drawn to the huge bed that dominated most of the large room. It was piled high with pillows covered in bright silks. Rin wandered over to it and softly touched the bed. It was real.

Rin had never seen a real bed before. Only the wealthiest families and lords could afford them, which explained how Lord Sesshomaru had one. Come to think of it, she remembered back to when she'd first arrived at this estate. Lord Sesshomaru had asked her if she wanted a bed, but Rin had promptly said no. She didn't want him to spend more money on her than was necessary. Of course, those thoughts had quickly proven useless because he'd bought her the best futon money could buy.

Rin looked at the pillows that were practically burying the bed. It didn't surprise her that he had a lot of them. She could just picture him arranging the pillows around him until he was comfortable, much the way he did with his fur. Rin noticed in the short time that she and Lord Sesshomaru had been bedmates, that he was a burrower – moving this way and that until everything was just right. She found it to be very cute.

Rin saw two large wardrobes on either side of the bed and opened both of them, to find that one held her clothes, while the other held Lord Sesshomaru's. There were fire pits in each of the four corners of the room and her small dressing table sat between two large windows. Rin walked over and saw that it had all of her toiletries in it before sitting back on her heels and thinking. Only her clothes and toiletries were here, so where were the rest of her things?

Rin walked to the hallway and stopped a passing servant, "Excuse me, but I only have half of my things. Do you know where the rest of them are?"

"Of course, Lady Rin. Lord Sesshomaru told us to put only your clothes and toiletries in his room and to put everything else in your tea room."

"Oh, thank you. I was just wondering," Rin said before withdrawing from the hallway.

So it was official. She was now going to be sharing a room with her lover. Rin slowly sank to the floor as the magnitude of the situation finally sank in.

She was Lord Sesshomaru's lover, practically his mate. Wow.

**A/N: So how did you like Sesshomaru's room. Was it what you thought it would be?**

**By the way I'd like to thank all of my reviewers. I mean 50 reviews.? I don't know what I was expecting, but I wasn't expecting to get so many so soon. Your support and comments really keep motivated. Thank you so much!**


	14. A  Huge Step Forward Part 2

**A/N: Here's your lemon! Reader discretion is advised. If you don't want to read a lemon then you can skip this chapter and head over to the next, but that one has a lime, so . . . **

Rin was sitting on the edge of Sesshomaru's bed brushing her hair. She had already eaten dinner and bathed and was now waiting for the lord of the estate to turn in for the night. It was strange, but tonight felt like her wedding night. Her stomach was full of butterflies as her excitement and nervousness duked it out for dominance. It was difficult to say just which one she felt more keenly at any given moment.

Rin heard the door slid open but didn't turn around. She didn't have to because she already knew who it was. The butterflies started fluttering more violently and for a moment Rin thought she was going to be sick. The only thing that was keeping her from breaking out into a cold sweat was the steady, repetitive motion of bringing the brush along her scalp and through her hair.

Rin didn't hear him cross the room, or feel the bed dip as he crawled on it, so it came as a slight shock when the brush was taken out of her hand and carelessly thrown on the floor. She felt her hair being gathered to one side of her neck. Next Rin felt a gentle kiss fall on the back of her neck. A fierce shiver went through her body and her head fell forward.

Sesshomaru buried his head in the crook of Rin's neck while sliding closer to her, so that her back was pressed against his chest. His knees appeared by her thighs as he straddled her from behind. Rin was softly panting by now and tried to turn to face him but he held her in place. Anticipation flowed freely through her veins and she pressed back against him.

Sesshomaru began to kiss and lick at the hollow that his face was still buried in while one hand undid the tie to her sleeping kimono. The other traced lazy circles on her thigh and Rin's eyes shut of their own free will. Once her kimono was open, Sesshomaru's other hand stole inside and cupped her breast. Rin moaned softly as he began to knead and caress her breasts. He rolled her nipple between two fingers and Rin's hands tightened into fists at her sides. Unconsciously, her legs opened further, silently giving him asking him to touch her there as well.

She felt Sesshomaru bring both of his hands to her neck and bring them down across her shoulders and arms, taking her kimono with them. Only then did Sesshomaru allow Rin to turn around, which she promptly did, climbing on top of him while bringing his lips to hers. Rin went limp as his tongue swept into her mouth. She didn't think that she would ever get enough of kissing Sesshomaru.

What was first soft and sweet turned into something wild and fierce. As the kiss continued, Rin became aware that something was different about Sesshomaru tonight. He seemed more feral than she'd ever seen him. His hands were running up and down her back and occasionally straying into her hair to pull her head back. One of Rin's hands fell onto his fur while the other tried, rather clumsily to untie Sesshomaru's robe. Once the knot was undone, she pulled away from the kiss and pushed the robe down his shoulders.

Sesshomaru picked Rin up and laid her down on her back, settling between her thighs in the process. As her back hit the numerous pillows still piled on the bed, Rin felt a huge wave of frustration wash over her. Why wouldn't Sesshomaru let her look at him? In the ten days that they'd been lovers, Rin had only seen glimpses of his chest and thighs, whereas Sesshomaru had seen every visible inch of her body. She knew that he liked looking upon her unclothed form, so why wouldn't he let her look upon him in the same manne? And it wasn't just looking either. He barely let her touch him anywhere other than his back, chest and arms. If Rin didn't know any better she would think he was shy.

Almost as if to prove her point, Sesshomaru pulled back from her and let his eyes roam over her from head to toe and then back up again. When his eyes locked with hers once more they were burning pools of gold. He lowered himself so that he was back between her thighs and lowered his head to hers. Before her mind went blank, Rin placed her hands on Sesshomaru's chest and pushed. She knew that it wouldn't actually do anything, but she was hoping that Sesshomaru would stop.

She saw him look at her and raise a brow. Rin's face took on a determined expression. "You always get to look at me. Why can't I do the same? It's not fair."

Sesshomaru's eyes seemed to burn brighter as he said, "Later."

Rin pouted and looked away from his beautiful face. "You always say that."

"This time I'm serious."

Rin turned back to look into his eyes. A slow, seductive smile spread across her face and she said, "I'm gonna hold you to that, my lord."

Sesshomaru growled and brought a hand to the curls at the apex of her thighs. He ran his hand over her once before slipping two fingers into her wet heat.

Rin lost her smile as her eyes closed and her hips tilted so that he had better access. Her breath came in rapid pants as his fingers began to move in and out of her at a steady pace, his thumb occasionally coming up to brush across her nubbin.

Sesshomaru pulled back so that he had a better view of Rin. He enjoyed seeing what he did to her. Unlike all the other countless women he'd been with, Rin was completely honest when they were in bed together. Sesshomaru knew that he was a good lover, and he didn't understand why all his previous lovers had seen the need to contrive, fake, overact or be coy when in bed with him. They usually only ended up regretting it as he wrung genuine reactions from them. He supposed that they were just trying to cater to his ego, but if that was the case, it was poorly done.

Now Rin . . . Rin catered to his ego on a purely honest level. Because of her lack of experience she didn't know what men expected in bed, which was a plus in his eyes. She was just herself: wild, uninhibited and beautiful, very much like those flowers she had been so fascinated by when she was younger. The only thing that bothered Sesshomaru about Rin was whenever she tried to cover up or hold in her moans of pleasure. He didn't give a damn who heard them, but Rin was always conscious of the other people in the house.

Sesshomaru was aware that his need was much stronger tonight than on the previous night's he'd spent with his new lover. He wondered briefly if that was because his demon was reacting to Rin's pregnancy or if it was something else. Whatever the cause, Sesshomaru knew that he would probably be a little rougher with her tonight, and thus have to be extra careful not to hurt her. It was during times like this that he wished Rin was a demon. If she were he wouldn't have to worry about hurting her and she would have more stamina to boot. Even though Rin young, her stamina still didn't come close to matching his. Sesshomaru had had to keep his hands off her on more than a few nights because Rin couldn't take anymore.

Rin's hips were moving to the motions of his hand as she brought her hands up to cover her moans. Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed, but he didn't pull them away from her face as he wanted to. He was thinking about something that made his already painful erection become even harder. He could take her on her hands and knees. Sesshomaru had thus far avoided that position because he wasn't sure if Rin was ready for it. Although if he were being honest, it was because _he_ wasn't sure he was ready for it.

Sesshomaru still wasn't used to being gripped so tightly when he was inside Rin, and hadn't been sure if he could control himself. His demon was closer to the surface whenever he was acting like a dog, and that position was definitely dog-like. Sesshomaru thought about it a bit more before coming to a decision. He sped up his motions so that his hand was moving inside Rin at nearly inhuman speed and was immediately rewarded with a loud cry as her body shot off the bed. One of her hands came down to grip the hand that was still pleasuring her and Sesshomaru slowed down. As soon as Rin's shaking stopped, he flipped her over so that she was on her stomach. If he could handle this, then so could she.

Sesshomaru pulled Rin's hair off her back and to the side. He planted kisses down her spine, at times stopping to lick and nip at her skin. When he reached the end of her spine, he placed his hands on Rin's bottom and began to knead it. Sesshomaru brought his face down and placed random kisses and nips on the globes of Rin's derriere until she was writhing beneath him. He then leaned over her and said "Get on your hands and knees."

Sesshomaru felt Rin go completely still under him, before pulling her knees so that they were underneath her. She started to raise her chest off the bed but he put his hand on her back and softly exerted some pressure, telling her to stay as she was. As he moved behind her, Sesshomaru didn't miss Rin glancing at him nervously over her shoulder. He pushed some of the pillows off the bed as he settled between Rin's legs. He took a moment to close his eyes, which he knew were tinted red. He took a few calming breathes and felt the markings on his cheeks smooth out once more. Amazing how just looking at Rin bent over like this was threatening to undo him. Sesshomaru then opened his eyes and placed his tip at Rin's entrance before slowly sliding inside of her. _Kami_, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and a growl exploded from his chest. This was going to be harder than he thought.

Rin felt her back arch as Sesshomaru slowly pushed himself into her. Her head fell forward and a small moan left her lips just seconds after Sesshomaru growled. _Kami he felt so big._ Rin didn't think she'd ever felt this full before, not even on that first night. By the time that Sesshomaru had pushed all the way inside her, Rin was a shaking, shivering mess beneath him. She knew that it would only be a few short minutes before she broke.

Sesshomaru pulled back and entered her again, this time rolling his hips once he was deep inside her once more. Rin couldn't breathe. He repeated the motion once more before starting a steady pace that Rin was helpless to ignore.

Not even two minutes had passed before Rin felt the all too familiar tightening in her core. She blindly reached out for a pillow and bit into it in a desperate attempt to muffle her already loud moans. She released the pillow from between her teeth just before it was yanked away and tossed across the room. Rin felt a hand in her hair before her head was pulled back. Sesshomaru gently bit the shell of her ear before saying, "Don't . . . don't hide it. I want to hear you sing." His dark, seductive voice sent tingles down her spine.

He then nibbled on her earlobe and dragged his fangs down the side of her neck. Rin felt Sesshomaru's chest touch her back as he buried his face in her neck. His arms came down over her shoulders, and his thrusts came faster and harder.

Rin completely shattered, coming violently while Sesshomaru continued to move within her, lengthening her release for as long as he could. Through the bright lights the temporarily took over her vision and the shocks going throughout her body, Rin felt Sesshomaru pitch deep while an arm came down to hold her hips in place.

Sesshomaru felt the last powerful contractions of Rin's sheath die down around his still throbbing arousal. That was quicker than he'd expected. His arms were shaking slightly and his demon was howling that he continue, but Sesshomaru choose to wait until Rin caught her breath. He softly placed a kiss on her shoulder, marveling at the effect she had on him. No woman had ever made him tremble, yet here he was trying hard to hide the fact that he was shaking from a girl that he was sure was aware of very little at the moment. Sesshomaru pressed his forehead against the back of Rin's shoulder and waited for both his and Rin's breathing to slow.

Rin slowly came back to the world of the living. Sesshomaru was still hard deep within her. She felt a blush heat her already flushed cheeks and turned her head slightly to look at him. He raised his head from her shoulder and kissed her cheek softly before lifting off her so that his chest was no longer touching her back.

Rin was feeling sated to her toes as she felt Sesshomaru start to move in her again. She lay there perfectly content to let him do as he pleased. Besides she couldn't move away from him if she wanted to. A few minutes later her eyes flew open and she gasped. It couldn't be, not so soon. Her back arched and she felt Sesshomaru speed up his thrusts. It was. What was promising to be an even more intense climax was quickly working its way to the surface.

Rin briefly wondered how he was able to do this to her so quickly, when she heard Sesshomaru groan, then growl. He thrust within her hard and fast, dragging loud gasping moans from her. Deeper and deeper, harder and harder he went until he triggered a long rolling release that caught them both in its grip and left them weak, tired and sated.

**A/N: Wow. I think this is the first chapter that I've written for this story that didn't end with a one-liner.**


	15. A Huge Step Forward Part 3

**A/N: So Rin is going to become Sesshomaru's mate . . . eventually. For some reason I just can't see Sesshomaru making Rin his mate right away. But this is an important conversation nonetheless.**

Later on Rin woke and found herself pressed against something warm and wrapped in something soft. She lifted her head and saw that the something warm was Sesshomaru's chest, which meant that the something soft was his fur. Rin's eyes took in his flushed face and she smiled weakly. She put her head back on his chest and closed her eyes once more.

Sesshomaru had arranged the pillows so that they formed a slight hole in the middle of the large bed. He was currently in the middle of this hole, one leg thrown carelessly over the edge, with Rin sprawled against his side. The room was pleasantly warm. The fire pits had been burning all day and were presently casting a soft, flickering light in the room. He could smell the evidence of what he and Rin had been doing mixed in with the light smoke that rose from the fires. It was a very relaxing combination.

Sesshomaru felt Rin place a hand on his chest and slowly begin to lower it. He caught the hand before it reached any lower than his bellybutton and looked down at her head. Sesshomaru felt her try to pull her hand out of his, but he held it tight, waiting for Rin to look up at him. After the third tug, she finally turned her face up to him.

Rin's hair was mussed, her lips swollen and her eyes half-way closed. She peered at him through her lashes, unaware of how lovely she looked at that moment. Sesshomaru released her hand and pulled her closer. "I need to tell you something."

Rin snuggled closer to him and kissed the tip of his nose.

"Rin, you're pregnant." Her smile slowly disappeared as she took in what Sesshomaru said.

"What," she whispered.

"You're pregnant," Sesshomaru repeated. He wasn't quite sure what type of reaction he'd been expecting, but so far all he sensed was shock.

Rin licked lips that had suddenly gone dry and sat up so that she could look at Sesshomaru clearly. "How . . . how do you know? It's too soon to know anything yet, right?"

Sesshomaru looked at the shadows that the flickering flames were casting on the ceiling. "I can smell it Rin."

Rin brought a hand to her forehead. This was to much on top of everything else that had happened today. She didn't even know where to begin, what to feel. "Do you know . . . how long – how long have I been-."

"Three days."

"Oh," Rin said. She brought a hand to her stomach and looked at it. There was a child in there. Rin hadn't even been thinking about the consequences of being intimate with Sesshomaru until just that moment. She was . . . shocked. "So what now," she asked looking back up at him.

Sesshomaru turned his head towards Rin, a slight crease between his brows. One thing that Rin liked about being in bed with him was that he didn't hide his emotions so easily from her while they were there. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Rin took a deep breath before releasing it. "What happens between us now?" She couldn't just come out and ask him what she was to him, but now she suddenly wondered. It was hard to believe that just this morning she hadn't cared what she and Sesshomaru were, as long as they were together. _So_ much had changed since then, and Rin couldn't help but be aware of the fact that he'd known she was pregnant for three days and hadn't attempted to mark her. Did that mean he only wanted her as a concubine? She was carrying his first-born for crying out loud. Yet Rin knew that some men didn't care if their first-born were concieved by their wives or their concubines.

"We'll go on as we have up 'til now," Sesshomaru said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. And to him it probably was.

"As lovers," Rin asked, wanting to hear him say that he wanted something more the way she did, the way she needed.

"Yes."

Rin slowly lay back down next to Sesshomaru and turned away. He only wanted to be lovers. He didn't even say that he wanted her to be his concubine. There was nothing other than this child tying them to each other. She had a sinking suspicion that that wasn't enough. Rin tried to stop the waves of despair from crashing over her, but it was useless.

Sesshomaru sensed the change in her mood and came up behind her. "What's wrong?"

Rin shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. She heard him growl softly, but didn't care. He was obviously oblivious to the fact that he'd hurt her deeply. When she was sure that her voice wouldn't shake she asked, "Are you ok with having a half-breed."

Rin felt Sesshomaru grow still behind her. There was a long silence in which Rin thought her misery was complete before he said, "There's a chance that the child will be a full-blooded demon"

Rin felt her brow crease. "How is that possible? I'm a human."

Sesshomaru threw one arm over her waist while putting his head in the hand of the other arm. He lifted his head up so that he could see Rin's face, but her hair was in the way, so he pushed it aside. He was aware that Rin was upset. He'd thought that she would be happy about the pup, not upset. What's more, they hadn't even gotten to the part he thought would upset her. "Rin, you are one of the Kazufuhei, which means that you're one of the few humans capable of bearing a full-blooded demon . . . regardless of who the father is."

He immediately sensed Rin's confusion. "What do you mean?"

Sesshomaru sighed softly and started to stroke the curve of her shoulder. "The offspring of the very first union between a demon and a human were called that Kazufuhei. They were given this name to distinguish them from all the other half-breeds to come. . . You see, the Kazufuhei had the unique ability of producing several different types of races. They could produce full-blooded demons, half-breeds or humans. The race of their mate could influence the race of a Kazufuhei's child, or it couldn't. Most of their offspring were either purebloods or half-breeds."

Rin was silent for a while. "So . . . you think that I'm one of these Kazufuhei's? How is that possible? From what you've said so far they lived along time ago."

"I don't think. I know," Sesshomaru replied. "The descendents of the Kazufuhei inherited this unique ability from their forebears. Rin, your scent used to change to that of a demon's whenever you were frightened or under a great deal of stress. That's one of the telling traits of the Kazufuhei. However, once you became capable of bearing children, those traces of demonic notes that only used to appear every once and a while, became permanent.

"I brought you back under my care once that time came, so that you would not be raped and forced to bear the children of any of those demon fools out there. The children of the Kazufuhei are exceptionally strong," he finished.

Rin turned around and looked at Sesshomaru with wide eyes. She felt like her entire world was crashing down around her. "How long," she croaked out. "How long have you known this?"

Rin didn't know what she would do if Sesshomaru had known about her being one of these Kazufuhei's from the start. What if that was the only reason he let her follow him? To prevent her from falling into the hands of some other demon, and bearing it children that would rise up to pose a threat to him. Rin was barely holding off the panic clawing at her throat.

Sesshomaru took in Rin's pale face and came up short. This should be the part where she was supposed to be happy not scared. "A few years ago. My mother told me about it shortly before that incident at the spring." He saw the confusion on Rin's face as she tried to figure out which incident he was referring to. "The one with Inuyasha," he prompted.

He saw the tension seep out if Rin's body and gave up on trying to read her. Her mood swings were exhausting him.

"So I can give you a viable heir," Rin asked, growing wonder in her voice and face. This little tidbit would make her an acceptable mate. And didn't Sesshomaru say that the children of the Kazufuhei were strong? Rin's brief despair was being rapidly eclipsed by sheer joy.

"Yes."

She searched his eyes before asking, "Why didn't you tell me sooner."

"Because there was never any need. I was going to tell you before you married that human boy. I was going to tell him too, but he died so there was no point."

Rin gently started stroking the markings on Sesshomaru's cheeks. "Why were you going to tell Shizuo," she asked.

"Because I wanted him to know what was behind the cause of his children being demons, should you have born him any," Sesshomaru said. He saw Rin raise her brows and answered her silent question. "I didn't want there to be any question about your fidelity." Rin traced his lips and smiled when he bit down on the pad of one of her fingers.

"Surely the children wouldn't have been demons if the father was a human," she asked lightly.

"I'm sure they would have. My mother said that whatever scent the Kazufuhei takes on while scared or sick is a huge indication as to the race of their children. You smell like a demon, Rin," Sesshomaru said seriously. He needed her to understand.

"I smell _exactly_ like a demon," Rin asked teasingly while kissing the sides of Sesshomaru's mouth. Clearly she was finished talking for the night.

"Not exactly, but enough for other demons to know what you are," he got out between Rin's kisses. Sesshomaru sat up and looked down at her. He needed to get a few more things out of the way before indulging again.

"Well, if any more demons come after me you'll just have to kill them, won't you," Rin said in a sultry voice while running her hand up and down his thigh. Sesshomaru started panting slightly.

Rin got up on her knees, moved so that she was behind Sesshomaru and brought her hands around him so that they were on his chest. "Why don't we finish this conversation later," she breathed into his ear.

Sesshomaru fought a shiver. They could definitely . . . _No -_ he wanted it out of the way. He shook his head, "I'd rather get it out of the way now."

"Fine," He felt Rin gather his hair off to one side. "You talk and I'll listen." She kissed his neck softly. _Sweet kami_, why was she doing this to him now?

"So you understand that the child probably won't be human when it comes out? That it'll probably be a puppy," he asked after finding the strand of conversation that he'd lost. Wait. Had they even gotten this far?

"No, I didn't know that. Thanks for telling me though." Sesshomaru could hear the smile in her voice.

"Carrying a pup is not the easiest thing in the world. Even female dog demons have difficulty carrying them to full-," Sesshomaru broke off suddenly. Rin had brought her chest to his back. He could feel the full swells of her breasts pressed firmly against his back. Rin's small hands were running up and down his chest while she placed random kisses on his back. Sesshomaru decided that they could finish this discussion later on - preferably someplace where a bed wasn't close by.

"Hmm mmm," Rin said, feeling Sesshomaru lean back against her slightly. She resisted the urge to shout in victory. She ran her hands up his muscular arms and across his shoulders. Once she was sure that he was finished talking Rin came back around to face him.

With a sultry smile on her face, she crawled up to him, straddling Sesshomaru's hips with no shame. Rin was feeling very happy and playful at the moment. She felt his fur start to stroke back and laughed. Rin placed a kiss on his Adam's apple, then his chin before moving up to place another kiss on Sesshomaru's forehead. As she kissed the tip of his nose she heard him growl and smiled before kissing his lips.

Their tongues danced around each other until they were both breathless. Rin didn't know which one of them pulled away first, but she took advantage of the broken contact to push Sesshomaru back so that he was lying down again. Once that was accomplished, Rin leaned down and kissed him again, whispering against his lips, "You promised that I would get to look later. So is it?"

Rin kissed Sesshomaru's chest before softly biting him. She heard him groan and smiled once more.

Sesshomaru was panting as he asked, "Is it what?"

"Is it later yet," Rin asked playfully, still biting his chest.

"Yes."

"Good," she said. Without warning, she sat up and moved further down, so that she was now straddling Sesshomaru's knees. Rin sat and look at her demon lord. At the moment he looked like some hedonistic god waiting for her to serve him. Rin's hand stole into his fur and started stroking it.

Rin loved this man, and while she knew that she would probably never hear him say something similar to her, she knew that he cared for her. He'd only know about her being one of those Kazufuhei's for a few years, not since she had first stumbled upon him, injured in the forest. He'd brought her back under his care once she began her cycles, aware of the danger that she was in. Sesshomaru also cared enough about her reputation to think about telling Shizuo about what would happen once she got pregnant, so that she wouldn't have been shamed and dishonored.

His physical protection was something that Rin was used to, even expected, but his protection of her name was something that was completely new to her. Rin knew he wasn't the most expressive person in the world, which was why these little revelations were so important because they clearly showed something that even he might not be aware of yet. At the beginning of this conversation, Rin had felt the need to have her relationship with him clarified, but now she felt confident that she could wait.

Sesshomaru was a man who did things at his own pace. She would just have to wait for him to reach the same point as she had, and in the mean time continue to look for the seemingly insignificant signs that spoke of his true feelings for her. Rin knew that Sesshomaru would never besmirch her name, so he would make her relationship to him clear at some point. She would not bring it up with him anymore. Rin didn't want him to think that she was nagging. She knew firsthand how distasteful he found it.

Rin saw that Sesshomaru was breathing hard, so she brought her hands to his shoulders and traced the width of them. She ran them down his chest, then traced the lines of his muscles, her eyes greedily devouring him.

For the first time, she saw two magenta markings on his hips. Rin thought they were only on his arms, well his arm – the clawed one. She glanced behind her and saw the same markings on his calves. Rin traced the ones on his hips while looking at his ever growing erection. So this was what had pleased her some many times.

Beyond that brief glance on that first night, Rin hadn't been able to see it properly. She traced the line of silver hair to its base before hesitantly reaching a hand towards the quivering staff. Rin quickly glanced up at Sesshomaru to make sure that this was okay. From the heated look on his face she guessed that it was. Rin closed her hand around his member and heard him groan. Full of both feminine triumph and curiosity, Rin began to explore Sesshomaru's staff.

She found it amazing that something so hard could also be so soft. How on earth did he get all of it inside her, she wondered. All throughout her explorations Rin watched as it grew bigger and bigger.

Sesshomaru was trying not to rip the pillows beneath him to pieces. Feeling Rin's small hands on him was driving him over the edge. She wasn't stroking him hard enough - it was almost as if she were afraid of hurting him, so Sesshomaru covered her hand with his and showed her how much pressure to exert, and how to stroke him. Once he felt her moving of her own accord he released her hand, laid back and closed his eyes.

Sesshomaru had just started to pump himself into her hands when he felt Rin stop. He barely had his eyes open when he felt something wet and soft close about the head of his member. He looked down to see Rin's head in his lap. _Good Kami_, his head fell back onto the bed. Sesshomaru concentrated on not bucking up into her mouth. Rin gave a powerful pull and he swore saw nirvana for a moment. Then next few minutes passed by hazily for the demon lord, who was lost in a world full of pleasure.

When she released him from her mouth, Sesshomaru was dimly aware that Rin had climbed back up his body. "Did I do it right," she asked. He saw that she was looking at him with expectation and nervousness.

Sesshomaru just nodded his head. A beautiful smile spread across her face. Rin leaned over and kissed his neck, then reached down to guide him to her entrance.

As she slid down his length, Sesshomaru couldn't help thinking that he should let Rin have her way with him more often.

**A/N: Okay so I would like your advice once more. I had planned on taking this story in a different direction (but it just keep running away with me whenever I sit at my computer) so I'm kinda at a loss right now . . . I was planning on just skipping ahead to when the pup is born, but I could do a chapter of some fluff while Rin's pregnant. What do you think? Let me know, because I honestly don't know what I want to do, so your feedback will influence what's in the next chapter _a lot._**

**So, did you enjoy your triple scoop sundae? Let me know what you thought. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Until next time. **


	16. Vulnerable

**A/N: I'm sorry that it's been a while. This chapter was very difficult to write, which was why it took me so long to get it out there. I hope that you like it, especially since it furthers the plot in the direction that you all are waiting for it to go.**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you to all my reviewers. You motivate me to keep going. Enjoy and please review.**

**I do not own Inuyasha.**

Rin was lying in bed, trying hard not to think of just how bored she was. After a few minutes in which she failed miserably at her task, Rin rolled to her side with a groan. The baby who had been unusually quiet today had just delivered a powerful kick.

She was six months pregnant, which meant she only had a little less than two more months to go before she would be free to move about on her own again. Apparently, demons didn't need the full nine months that humans did, something that Rin was currently very happy about. She didn't even know how she was supposed to make it through the next two months, and was grateful it wasn't three.

Rin was confined to the bed because she was currently in the most dangerous phase of her pregnancy, short of giving birth, which according to Rena would be in a whole other category of dangerous. According to her maid, most female dog demons either perished in labor or were so weak after giving birth that they were mere shadows of their former selves. Lady Funaho, Sesshomaru's mother, was one of the few dog demons to emerge from the birthing chamber relatively untouched; it was one of the reasons why her male counterparts found her so desirable. Rin had listened to all of this calmly, then broke out into a cold sweat the minute Rena left.

Two weeks ago Rin had been in the middle of relieving herself, when she looked down and noticed that there was a little blood mixed in with her urine. Once she finished her business, she had walked on shaky legs until she came across Master Jaken and told him what had happened. Jaken, after about two minutes in which he just stared at her with his mouth open and a terrified look on his face, had told her to go and lie down; that he would inform Lord Sesshomaru immediately. Lord Sesshomaru had made it to their rooms a few seconds before she had, Rena in tow, and proceeded to stand by her side while Rena checked her condition.

Rin was told that she was now in the final phase of her pregnancy, which was marked by light bleeding during the sixth or seventh month. Rin found this to be very strange. Usually when a human spotted it meant something bad, and could happen at any point during the pregnancy, but with demons it was different. The spotting was an indication that the baby would now start to literally steal the mother's energy, thus rendering both the mother and child very unstable. Rena told Rin that it would be best if she stayed in bed until it was time to give birth. A lot of movement could leave Rin weak or disturb the baby. The more the baby was disturbed, the more energy the baby would take in an effort to protect itself from, what it perceived to be, an outside threat. This was dangerous because the baby could take too much energy and end up accidently killing Rin in the process. If Rin had been a demon, then she would have been able to move about in her demonic form without disturbing the baby; demonic healers weren't sure why, but whenever a she-demon was in its true form during gestation, they experienced fewer problems than when they were in their human forms. Since Rin didn't have that option, she was told to stay in bed, and had been stuck there ever since.

Rin sighed deeply and reflected back on her pregnancy so far.

Shortly after Lord Sesshomaru had told her that she was pregnant, Rin had been forced to drink a tonic that would promote the growth of a strong placenta. This was especially important for Rin, since because she was human, she would be more prone to internal injuries caused by a weak placenta and an overactive baby. She'd had to drink that vile tonic for six weeks and wasn't sorry to see it go.

The first few weeks of her pregnancy had been fine, so fine in fact that if it weren't for the tonic, Rin would have forgotten, or at the very least doubted, the fact that she was pregnant. There was no vomiting, no crazy mood swings. Rin remembered thinking to herself that she might just be able to bypass all of the effects that had plagued Sango and Kagome so severely. Turned out that Rin had spoken to soon; no sooner did she enter the second month of her pregnancy, that Rin started puking her brains out. And when there was nothing to throw up, she would be hit by dry heaves that left her feeling just as bad as she would have if she had vomited.

Throughout it all, Lord Sesshomaru had been as sympathetic as it was possible for him to be, which entailed a pat on the back once Rin was done puking. That's it – a pat. Like that would make her feel better. Sesshomaru obviously thought it would, but he was wrong. Those stupid little pats didn't do anything but make her angry.

Once the constant vomiting stopped, Rin was hit with a whole variety of ailments: lightning fast mood swings, bizarre cravings – and not just for food, but for sex too – rapid changes in her temperature from freezing cold to feverishly hot and itchy skin. Rin had never felt so uncomfortable in her whole life.

And now this. There were days when Rin didn't even have the strength to get dressed because she was so weak. She couldn't believe that there was a time when she had actually wanted to be a mother. Because of her work as Kaede's assistant, Rin knew that certain symptoms came with being with child, but what she was experiencing seemed like it was a hundred times worse than what any of the humans that she helped had experienced.

And to top it all off, Rin was scared out of her mind. She was afraid for both herself and the baby, so much so that she could scarcely bring herself to move lest she do something that would cause the baby harm. Sesshomaru had done his best to comfort her, but unfortunately he wasn't well-versed in giving assurances – he only knew how to give orders and insults, but he still tried. He had even gone so far as to give up his patrols, something she knew he loved doing, just so that he could stay by her side. And how had Rin repaid him? She had either bitten his head off for some small offense or else dissolved into a pool of tears at his feet. Sesshomaru probably wished that he had never touched her. With this thought, a few tears ran down Rin's cheeks and before she knew it she was sobbing uncontrollably.

It was into this depressed, emotional scene that Sesshomaru walked a few moments later. For a few seconds, he actually considered walking back out of the room; he was dangerously low on patience for the day and Rin had been taxing in the extreme these past few months. Sesshomaru pulled in a deep breath and released it inaudibly before walking over to the small shaking form that was practically buried under his numerous pillows. Once there, he sat on the edge of the bed and began to rub her back in small circles. Though Sesshomaru would never admit it, he was at a complete loss as to what to do to make Rin feel better. He was aware of her discomfort, he was aware of her misery, but the only thing that he could do to make her feel better was to give her what she asked for – within reason of course. Last night Rin had all but begged him to mate with her and he'd staunchly refused; the last thing he was going to do was send her into labor early because she felt a few moments of intense need. He was already walking on eggshells as it was.

When his hand had made contact with Rin's back, he saw her lift her head slightly to look at him from over her shoulder. Her beautiful brown eyes, normally so soft and clear were now glassy and red. She stared at Sesshomaru for a few moments before her eyes filled with tears once more. He hated it when she cried; it was so out of character for her. Rin's seemingly random crying was just one of the many things that Sesshomaru hated about this pregnancy. He looked out the window and waited for Rin to stop crying.

After what felt like hours, Rin finally quieted down. Using the sleeve of a kimono to dry her eyes, she sent him a watery smile. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I-I was just thinking about how I've been so horrible to you and Master Jaken," she said in a broken voice.

"Hmmm," was all Sesshomaru said. He wasn't going to contradict her because she had been horrible – but honestly, how else could he respond without sending her into another bout of tears?

Rin sat up very fast and turned narrowed eyes on him. Oh, Kami, what had he done now? Rin wasted no time in telling him. "Hmmm, what's that mean? Why did you have to say it like that," Rin said.

Sesshomaru slowly turned his head to face her. Was this this some kind of a joke?

When Rin got no answer she scooted back so that he was no longer touching her before crossing her arms over her swollen chest. "So you think that I've been horrible, do you? You know, I was just saying that to say it. You weren't supposed to agree with me. That's just rude," Rin finished leaning back against the wall.

Sesshomaru stood up and tried very hard not to glare at Rin. "What's rude is you flip-flopping between all these different emotions. Either you're angry or you're sad. Pick one and stay there for more than five seconds," he said in a very calm voice, but inside he was seething.

Sesshomaru watched as Rin's eyes widened before narrowing to dangerous slits. He knew that the last thing that he should be doing was provoking her, but he refused to back down from this fight. "I can't just pick one and stay there. I'm pregnant," Rin said rising to her knees in the process.

This time, Sesshomaru didn't even try to stop it; he glared. A weaker person would have been cowering in fear, but Rin just seemed to get angrier – if he weren't so mad, Sesshomaru would have been impressed with her bravery.

Rin started speaking, each word louder than the one before it. "I can't believe you just said that to me. You could be a little more sympathetic. I'm only acting this way because I'm CARRYING YOUR CHILD."

"My pup."

"What," Rin snapped.

"You're carrying my pup not my child," Sesshomaru said. For a moment Rin stared at him in shock, before she regained her ability to speak again.

"Oh excuse me. I'm only _carrying your pup_," she said sarcastically. "What difference does it – oh," Rin doubled over clutching her rounded stomach.

All of Sesshomaru's anger flew out the window as he rushed to Rin's side. He was there in an instant, gently pushing Rin back while arranging the pillows so that they supported her back. When he pulled back he could see the fear in her eyes.

Sesshomaru gently put his hands on Rin's stomach and began to softly massage the swollen flesh. He was doing this to soothe both Rin and the baby, both of whom were clearly in distress. As Sesshomaru felt the repeated punches and kicks that his pup was making he prayed that the sack containing him was strong enough to prevent him from wreaking havoc on Rin's internal organs.

Rin's breathing came in gasps. When he reached a particularly sensitive spot, Rin's back shot off the pillows, her hands grasping his forearms. Tears were pouring down her face by this time, her shoulders shaking slightly. Sesshomaru pulled her onto his lap and started stroking her hair and her back with one hand, while the other stayed on her stomach. He was desperate; Rin needed to calm down fast or else she would go into labor.

Eventually, Rin's breathing grew calmer, and she fell into a deep sleep. Sesshomaru gently laid her down, and pulled the covers up to cover her. Once he was sure that Rin was as comfortable as possible, he left the room and sought out Rena, telling her about what had happened and asking her to look after Rin while he was out.

When everything had been taken care of, Sesshomaru left the estate with Bakusaiga in hand. He needed to kill something.

* * *

><p>Later on that night, Sesshomaru returned to his rooms.<p>

He had achieved what he'd set out to do. It hadn't taken him long to find a group of demons that had been terrorizing a local village. Sesshomaru had made quick work of them. Unfortunately, killing those demons hadn't been able to stop the shaking in his hands – the shaking that had begun the moment he saw Rin doubled over in pain.

As Sesshomaru stood on the outskirts of the village all the things that he'd avoided thinking about until that moment overwhelmed him.

How could he be so stupid? What if something had happened to Rin? Or to the pup? What would he have done then? He shouldn't have provoked her like that. He knew better. The self-chastisement had gone on and on until Sesshomaru noticed that the moon was clearly visible. He had left and returned to the house at once.

Sesshomaru climbed into bed with Rin and suppressed a small smile as she turned to him – seeking him out even in her sleep. He brushed some strands of wayward hair from her face and took in her beauty. She seemed even more beautiful than usual, but maybe that was because she was carrying his pup, or maybe it was because of what had occurred earlier that day. He wasn't quite sure which one it was.

As Sesshomaru looked upon Rin, he was reminded of how much he longed to make Rin his mate. It was a decision he had come to about a month ago. He had long been aware of Rin's suitability as a potential mate, but he hadn't really thought about it until he had got her with child. He knew that he was supposed to ask her to be his mate, but the truth was he was afraid to. That's right, Lord Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands, one of the most powerful demons to walk the planet was afraid to ask a human to be his mate. Especially with her in this condition; Rin might say no just to be difficult, and that wouldn't be smart because it would probably result in the deaths of all the serving staff and the possible destruction of the estate. And that was if she said no on a good day.

It was strange but Sesshomaru felt a bizarre connection to the fragile human; he had ever since she was a child. Over time that connection had grown and morphed into something that he couldn't identify. There was protectiveness, desire, he enjoyed her company – so much so that he actually wanted to spend time with her, jealousy – which was something that was completely new to him. Sesshomaru almost killed the male servant who's gaze had lingered a little too long on Rin's chest the other day when he'd taken her out to the gardens. In fact Sesshomaru would have killed him if Rin hadn't chosen that moment to ask for a melon.

But there was also something more. Could it be . . . Sesshomaru skittered around the word, even in his own thoughts. The only type of love that he'd ever experienced had been parental, so he had no idea what romantic love felt like . . . but if this was what it was – was he comfortable being in love in a human?

Sesshomaru decided that that was enough pondering on that subject for one day. Just thinking about it made him feel vulnerable.

However he was not going to deny that whatever existed between himself and Rin was powerful. It gave her power over him that he found to be almost intolerable. And that was something that she could never find out about.

He refused to be brought to his knees by a human. He was not his father.

**A/N: So just to clarify a few things. The reason why I named this story Jaded Confessions was because each chapter contains within it a confession (usually on Sesshomaru's part), something that he would prefer people not to know. In this chapter, the confession is that he's in love with Rin, something that he can't admit even to himself. Needless to say, he sees love as a very weak emotion (I'll expand on Sesshomaru's thought's on the emotion in the future), but I just didn't want you guys to think that Sesshomaru is ashamed of his feelings for Rin - because he's not. **

**The whole "is he comfortable with being in love with a human" statement was coming from the viewpoint of looking at his father's and Inuyasha's experiences in that area.**

**The next chapter is going to have Rin's and Sesshomaru's son in it. He's going to be so cute!**


	17. Katsumaru

**A/N: Hello all. It's been a while and I'm sorry, but what can I say. School's started and it's putting me even more behind than usual. **

**Just a little head's up, Sesshomaru is very harsh towards certain characters in this chapter (his thoughts are anyway), but that's because this is Sesshomaru we're talking about. He's not exactly known for his kind disposition. Wow I'm in a really hyper mood today. I think it might be because I'm finally updating.**

**Thank you to those of you who had reviewed/favorited/put on your alerts list. You are the best. Enjoy!**

**I do not own Inuyasha, although I wish that I did.**

Rin smiled serenely to herself as she walked down the hallway to Sesshomaru's workroom. It had been three months since she had given birth and she had made a full recovery – which was very rare. After spending an excruciating twenty-two hours in labor on top of the three months of bed rest before that . . . Rin could see why female demons weren't the same after birthing a pup.

The twenty-two hours that she had spent confined to the birthing chamber had been the longest of her life. They were probably the longest of Sesshomaru's life too since he had been there with her for more than half of it. At first, Rin had found his presence in the room to be more than a little disconcerting, but once the contractions had really started coming, she had been grateful. Sesshomaru had walked her around the room, held her hand, given her cool water and – once he had determined that the baby was far enough along in the birth canal – helped her to rock her hips in order to deliver the baby.

Baby? Pup would be a more accurate term. Sesshomaru's suspicions had been right; the child had not been born in a human-like form, but instead looked like a small puppy – all silverish-white fur and fluff. Sesshomaru had examined the puppy thoroughly, cleaning it off in the process, before quietly declaring that the pup was a healthy full-blooded demon male. Even through her exhaustion, Rin hadn't missed the silent pride that shone from Sesshomaru's eyes. She stayed conscious just long enough to hear Sesshomaru name the child Katsumaru before sinking into a deep slumber.

Rin spent the next three days barricaded in the room with Sesshomaru and their pup. During one of the few spells where she was coherent enough to form thoughts, she asked why they were still in the room. Sesshomaru had told her that it was only until Katsumaru opened his eyes – which would happen in three days - and also that it was important that their son know who his parents were. His sense of smell was the best way to accomplish this goal: since Katsumaru couldn't see at the moment, he would learn who his parents were through his sense of smell and also by listening to their voices. For this reason, Sesshomaru and Rin would be the only ones to interact with the pup for the first three weeks of his life.

Rin dimly remembered those three days. To the best of her memory she had done nothing more than sleep curled up next to Sesshomaru, occasionally petting Katsumaru whenever his little nose touched her hand. Other than that, Sesshomaru did everything for the pup: he turned Rin over whenever it was time for the pup to feed, offered his warmth to the small pup and kept an eye on him to make sure that Katsumaru didn't wander too far.

After the three days were over, Sesshomaru moved them back to his rooms and forbade anyone – even Rena – from entering until he gave the word.

Rin had been surprised by just how drained the whole ordeal had left her. Apparently Katsumaru had taken quite a bit of her energy while he was in the womb, and it took a long while before Rin regained her good health again. She developed a nasty fever and cough that took weeks to get rid of and as a result was left to Sesshomaru's tender mercies.

Looking back on it Rin could laugh, but it hadn't been so amusing when she was in the thick of it. Sesshomaru made a very demanding doctor. Unlike that time when he'd nursed her back to health when she had been little, this time Sesshomaru knew what he was doing and wasn't above forcing her to do what he told her to do. Rin chuckled as she thought back to all the times Sesshomaru had forcibly dragged her out of the bed and made her walk around the room. Even though she had known that he was right, she had fought him on just about everything he told her to do.

There were times when Rin thought that if it hadn't been for Katsumaru, Sesshomaru would have just left her and gone for a stroll through the surrounding countryside, probably killing anything that got in his way. However Sesshomaru rarely left her side during those first three weeks. It had been a true testament of what Sesshomaru felt for her, because Rin knew full well that Sesshomaru didn't ever do something that he didn't want to do.

Katsumaru also rarely left her side. Rin had expected him to go back and forth between both herself and Sesshomaru but instead, he clung to her and her alone. It wasn't unusual for Sesshomaru to have to pry him away from Rin whenever the pup had to relieve himself. Rin had asked Sesshomaru if it bothered him, Katsumaru's ignoring him. Sesshomaru had told her no; if Katsumaru had been clinging to him instead of her, then he would be worried.

"Why," Rin asked with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Because it would indicate that something was wrong," he had replied. Upon still seeing her puzzled expression, Sesshomaru explained, "Its normal for pups to prefer their mother's for the first few years of their life. When males turn around twelve or thirteen, they begin to pull away from their mothers and start following their fathers more. By the time that they're twenty-nine or thirty, male pups treat their mothers the same way that they treated their father's when they were very young."

"Oh," Rin said. Well that explained a few things. Like Sesshomaru's relationship with his mother. Well, part of his relationship with his mother. "Is there any way that that could be prevented from happening," she asked looking up at Sesshomaru.

His brow had furrowed slightly. "Prevent what from happening?"

"Katsumaru pulling away from me. Will we end up like you and you mother," Rin had asked half-fearful.

"No. For one thing, you are not my mother. Thank Kami."

Rin smiled at that and decided right then and there that she would not waste any of the time that she had with Katsumaru. For one thing, when she had asked what her relationship with Katsumaru would probably look like in the future, Sesshomaru had said that he didn't know; that dog demons were a dying breed and what few of them that were left weren't the greatest examples of how one should act. In Sesshomaru-talk that meant that he knew what it could look like but he would be damned if a son of his acted like that; which probably meant that they were cowards or acted like Inuyasha.

Once the three weeks were up, Rin had been released from her cell, which was what Sesshomaru's rooms had started to feel like. She had personally seen enough of the bed to last her a lifetime. Just the simple fact that she could walk around the rest of the house was enough to speed up her recovery. Add to that the fact that she wanted to get better so that she could spend more time with Katsumaru and Rin recovered after just one week of being free.

When Katsumaru had turned five weeks old, he had assumed his human shape for the first time. Rin noticed that he had a tendency to take on a certain shape whenever he was around certain people. For instance, whenever he was around her he was normally in his human form, unless he wanted to roughhouse with her. Rena said that pups preferred to be in whatever form their mothers were in, which Rin supposed was true in regards to Katsumaru. Whenever he was with Sesshomaru, he usually was in his demon form. Rin personally thought that this was for mobility reasons; Katsumaru had busted through the door to Sesshomaru's workroom more times than she could count and Rin thought that her son preferred a form that would allow him to run away whenever he was around Sesshomaru.

When she finally reached the door to Sesshomaru's workroom, Rin lightly scratched on the wood and entered. She slid the door shut behind her, turned, scanned the room and brought a hand to her face to hide her smile. There across the room to the side of his desk was Sesshomaru, sitting cross-legged on top of a comfy pillow. He looked just as majestic as ever in a kimono and hakama of emerald green with gold embroidery along the shoulders and arms. His silver hair flowed down his back to pool on the floor and his magnificent golden eyes revealed nothing as usual. Indeed, his face was set in its customary stoic mask in order to intimidate anyone who would dare interrupt him.

And there in Sesshomaru's lap was Katsumaru, sitting with his back to Sesshomaru's stomach. He was wearing and outfit similar to Sesshomaru's - minus the embroidery - in a deep indigo blue. He had a head full of soft silver hair that promised to be just as glorious as his father's; his cheeks held the same markings as Sesshomaru's and a blue crescent moon graced his forehead. His eyes however were the main difference between them. Whereas Sesshomaru's eyes gave nothing away, Katsumaru's were the windows to his soul: all big, melting pools of gold that seemed to grow bigger or smaller based on what he was feeling.

When Rin had entered the room, both father and son had been wearing identical glares and while it worked for Sesshomaru, it did absolutely nothing for Katsumaru unless he was planning on intimidating you with his cuteness – which was more than possible with his plump cheeks and big eyes. Looking at him Rin thought to herself _Lord Sesshomaru must have looked just like this when he was a child_. She shook her head bemusedly. It was difficult to picture Lord Sesshomaru as a child, especially as one so adorable, and yet Rin knew that he had been one at some point.

She walked across the room and sat down on the pillow next to Sesshomaru and gave him her trademark smile. She didn't miss the slight softening in his eyes. She brought a hand up to stroke Katsumaru's head and said, "Did you get a lot done this morning?"

"Not really," Sesshomaru replied. He sounded as though he didn't mind and knowing him, he probably didn't. Rin knew how much he hated looking over scrolls.

Sesshomaru tightened his grip on his son, who was now swinging his arms energetically back and forth in an attempt to get Rin's attention. Rin reached out a finger which was immediately captured by Katsumaru's tiny hand. As she felt the small fingers close about her hand, Rin fought back a huge surge of emotion. She loved this little person so much. She loved Sesshomaru too. There were times when she wondered what she would do if she got pregnant again. Rin didn't think that she had any more love left in her to give.

"Is he hungry? It's close to his meal time," she said.

"Probably. He's been fussing for the last couple of minutes," Sesshomaru said.

Rin's brow knitted. "Really? That's strange; I didn't hear anything as I was coming down the hall."

Sesshomaru raised a brow. "That's because he hasn't actually voiced anything yet."

Rin colored slightly. She didn't know why she sometimes still forgot that Sesshomaru was far more in tune with what people were feeling than she was. She reached out her arms and asked, "Are you hungry little man."

Katsumaru made a loud gurgling sound and clapped his hands together haphazardly. Sesshomaru handed the small child to her and Rin cradled him to her chest while she shrugged out of one sleeve of her kimono. She laughed as she felt Katsumaru sniff her neck.

Once one side was bare, Rin shifted her hold on her son so that he could feed, which he did immediately. His greedy little mouth pulled at her nipple while one hand came to rest on her breast.

Rin winced and said, "Don't bite Mommy." Katsumaru eased up at once, flashing his eyes up to look at her before lowering his lids once more.

Rin situated herself more comfortably on the pillow, her face relaxing; one hand gently stroking Katsumaru's soft hair.

Sesshomaru watched Rin feed his son with a feeling akin to awe. It was very rare that he felt in awe of someone. It wasn't that this was the first time that he had seen Rin feeding Katsumaru, because it was not. It was just . . . every time he saw it a huge wave of possessiveness, affection and pride filled him. These two people belonged to him. They were his family and he would kill anyone who dared to hurt them.

Sesshomaru's eyes moved up to Rin's face, so full of love and silently approved of what he saw. It was good that Rin was so open with her feelings were their son was concerned. All too soon Katsumaru would start to pull away from her in order to learn how to survive as an adult.

Rin shifted Katsumaru to her other side and Sesshomaru pondered.

She was so very different from any female – demon or human – that he had ever known. While he wasn't sure if what he felt for her was love, he would not deny that he felt at ease with her. More at ease than he thought it possible to feel with another person. If what he felt for Rin was love though . . . He would not be brought to his knees the way his father and Inuyasha had been.

Both of them had fallen in love with humans, and both of them had suffered the consequences of such nonsensical emotions. His father, Lord of the West, had been killed by a mere human. And why? In order to protect his human whore and their half-breed son. Then there was Inuyasha who had fallen in love with a woman who had in turn bound him to a tree in an enchanted sleep for 50 years, and even now took another human woman to wife. Sesshomaru didn't know which of the two women was worse – the one who bound his brother to a tree, or the one he was currently married to.

All of them had been human. All of them had been the weaknesses of men who should have known better, even Inuyasha. But not Rin.

No. Rin could defend herself as well as any demon could, thanks to both Inuyasha's training while she was in his village and the training she had received from Rena. She had enough common sense to not do anything reckless. Add to that the fact that she was elegance, beauty and warmth personified and you had a woman who was superior to those weak fools his father and Inuyasha seemed to favor.

Rin seemed to be the very epitome of strength. She had survived on her own until he took her in. She had adapted to any surroundings that she had found herself in. She had gotten over the death of that human twit she was engaged to. And even now, she had made it through the entire pregnancy virtually unscathed, her good humor and good health still intact. Well, not entirely unscathed. Rin did still get a little weak after feeding Katsumaru, but she unusually recovered not long after. No Rin was strong in every way that it was possible for a person to be. She was certainly strong in all the areas that he found to be important. She was perfect.

Finished feeding Katsumaru, Rin shrugged back into her clothes, shifted her grip on the pup so that he was leaning on her shoulder and started to pat him on the back. Sesshomaru had named his son Katsumaru for a reason. He had named him that because it had summed up Sesshomaru's feelings on the day that he was born perfectly. Both mother and pup had made it through labor; his son was a full-blooded demon and thus his heir; the mother had proved herself to be more of a blessing than a curse, unlike Izayoi, Kikyo and Kagome. Therefore Katsumaru had seemed the perfect name for his son, for he was proof that Sesshomaru had triumphed where his father and brother had failed.

Yes, Katsumaru and everything regarding him was indeed a perfect victory.

**A/N: This was just a brief introduction to the absolutely adorable Katsumaru You will be seeing a lot more of him and his antics in the future. **

**I'm in a real pickle here. I need to know if you guys feel that Sesshomaru is in love with Rin yet, because he's going to be marking her soon (hopefully within the next few chapters) but I need to know if you think that his feelings for Rin resemble those of a man in love. I don't want to do something that seems really random. If he still seems like he only desires her, then I guess that I'll have to come up with some more ideas for chapters that will demonstrate that he does in fact love Rin – even if he won't actually come out and say it (even in his thoughts – have you noticed that). Anyway I feel like I'm rambling. Let me know and I'll try to update as soon as I can. Thanks.**


	18. Like A Man

**A/N: I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to update this. I haven't forgotten about the story, and I'll try to be better at updating. Here's a little cuteness and angst to brighten up your day (^^)**

**I do not own Inuyasha.**

Sesshomaru felt a wave of contentment wash over him at the sound of Rin's laughter. By the high-pitched yelps that were punctuating Rin's laughter, he could tell that Katsumaru was with her. They must be playing again.

Sesshomaru noticed that Rin treated their son much the same way a female dog demon would: getting down on her hands and knees to better interact with him, pressing her cheek to his, and engaging in quite a bit of roughhousing. He wondered briefly if Rena had given her some tips or if Rin had come up with those things on her own. He mentally shrugged. Whatever it was, mother and son were getting along magnificently.

Sesshomaru rolled up the scroll that he had out to dry, and put the one he'd just finished in its place. He sighed quietly and stared out into space. Rin and Katsumaru were getting along a little _too_ well, which could be a problem when . . . He couldn't even finish the thought. Sesshomaru looked out the window and decided he needed a break.

He stood, walked over to the door and stepped out into the hallway. He'd determined after Katsumaru had busted through the door to his workroom one too many times that it was easier to leave the door open, than to risk his hyperactive son tearing it down again.

Sesshomaru walked the few steps that would bring him into view of Katsumaru and Rin. They were standing in front of a door that led outside. Rin was bundled up in a heavy winter kimono holding a squirming ball of white fur in her arms. Rena stood quietly beside Rin, a tender look on her face as she beheld the heir to the Western Lands.

Sensing his presence long before Rin, Katsumaru's wiggling became even more vigorous, which caused Rin to almost drop him several times. When Rin saw the cause for her son's excitement, she immediately put the pup down.

Katsumaru ran up to Sesshomaru and sniffed his leg, tail wagging furiously. His demonic traits had yet to emerge, so Katsumaru looked more like a regular puppy than a demon pup. His eyes were big orbs of gold, his fur impossibly soft and his teeth incredibly sharp. He was still very small despite being close to four months old. He must have weighed only seven pounds.

"Katsu come on," Rin called. Katsumaru promptly stopped his perusal of his sire and galloped out the door that Rin was holding open.

Sesshomaru walked to the door and watched as Rin stepped off the wooden walkway and onto the ground. She turned around and picked up Katsumaru, who was still too small to jump the distance himself. Once his feet touched the ground, Katsumaru sniffed the cold winter air, one paw raised off the ground. It had snowed quite a bit the day before, but a small patch of land had been cleared away for Katsumaru.

After sniffing the air, Katsumaru quickly ran the width of the small cleared patch, barking the whole way. Upon coming across the deep snow, his speed was reduced dramatically. Katsumaru turned around and trudged back to the cleared area as quickly as possible. Once he was no longer buried in snow, his son resumed his barking. Rin laughed and told Katsu to hurry up.

Sesshomaru was just about to go back into the house when he saw something that almost made his heart stop. His son was squatting to relieve himself. Sesshomaru watched through eyes that were slightly wider than usual as his son started kicking up the ground upon finishing the offensive act.

Where the hell had Katsumaru learned something like that, he wondered. Sesshomaru glanced at Rena from the corner of his eye, before quickly dismissing the idea. The time that Rena spent alone with Katsumaru was very limited. Besides he had forbidden all the female dog demons from assuming their true forms while Katsumaru was still young. No, his son must have learned that lovely little trick by himself.

Sesshomaru stepped back into the house mind made up. Tonight he would show Katsumaru how to pee like a man.

* * *

><p>Rin threw her head back and laughed as Katsumaru splashed her with water. She was leaning against Sesshomaru's chest in the large tub that occupied the bath house, while all three of them took a bath. Every so often, one of Sesshomaru's hands would come up and tickle Katsumaru in some random spot, causing the small child to squeal and bring his chubby hands down on the surface of the water.<p>

When her son had settled down, Rin moved to the edge of the tub and began to wash a wiggling Katsumaru. Once she was finished, she put a small bucket in the water and brought Katsu to her chest. He tucked his head under her chin as Rin gently poured water over his back. Realizing that he was finished with his bath, Katsumaru assumed his demonic form and attempted to climb out of the tub by himself.

Rin picked him up and placed him on the floor, then dropped a large towel on him and attempted to towel dry him. Quickly realizing that it was useless unless she herself got out of the tub, Rin called for Rena.

"Rena, will you finish drying Katsu and then put him outside," she asked of her maid in a loud voice. Rena's response was to open the door a few minutes later. Katsumaru stopped his rummaging in the large towel and raced out the open door.

As Rin turned back to Sesshomaru her mind was awhirl. They were alone.

She'd been told weeks earlier that it was okay for her to resume intimate relations with Sesshomaru, but he had yet to touch her. She knew that the healer had spoken with him. Maybe now . . .

Rin tried to fight off her blush. It wasn't very often that she initiated the act and she still wasn't used to it. She wondered if she ever would be.

She moved back to Sesshomaru and tucked her head under his chin in much the same manner that Katsumaru had done to her just a few minutes earlier. Their bodies were aligned. It would be so easy for either one of them to take the next step. Rin felt his arms close about her, her heart beginning to race. She softly kissed his chest and suddenly found herself being pushed away.

"Not tonight Rin," Sesshomaru said lifting himself out of the tub. Rin watched with wide eyes as he sat on one of the stools located on the far end of the tub and began to wash himself.

She was shocked and more than a little hurt. Was there something wrong with her? Why didn't he want to touch her anymore? Before she had gotten pregnant, he'd barely been able to keep his hands off her.

"Is there something wrong? Because I just thought that we could spend some time alone tonight," Rin said in a shaky voice.

"Maybe some other time. I'm taking Katsumaru out tonight," Sesshomaru replied without looking at Rin.

"Oh," was Rin's barely audible response.

There was no way that she could complain now. Sesshomaru rarely spent any alone time with his son. It was just that ever since her pregnancy, Rin had become very aware of just how short life was. Her life in particular. She didn't want to waste a moment of it; it was working with her son, but Sesshomaru . . .

Rin slid down so low in the tub that the water touched her chin. She was feeling a mixture of self-loathing, depression and defeat. She should just confront Sesshomaru about his whole attitude towards her lately. . .

"I hope you two have fun," was all she could bring herself to say.

* * *

><p>Later that evening, Sesshomaru transformed into a smaller version of his demonic form and set off with Katsumaru. He carried his son by the scruff of his neck to a small clearing not far from the estate.<p>

When Sesshomaru set Katsumaru down, he stayed very close to him at first. Right underneath him in fact. But it wasn't long before all the new sights and smells of the meadow proved too tempting for his inquisitive pup. Nose twitching, Katsumaru slowly began to move away from his father's side. Sesshomaru lay down on his side, closely watching Katsumaru while his mind wandered.

He had been very aware of the turmoil Rin had been in at the bath house, yet he didn't know how to console her. Besides he found it hard to comfort someone else when he could barely come to grips with his own fears.

Sesshomaru was realizing just how foolish it had been to get involved with Rin to the extent that he now was. It was very stupid. If only she were a demon . . .

Rin's life was incredibly short, especially when compared to his and Katsumaru's. What's more, Sesshomaru suspected that Rin had been living on borrowed time ever since that episode in the underworld. Perhaps Rin was supposed to die young. Sesshomaru had notice that Rin had lost a lot of energy since her pregnancy. On the outside, everything seemed fine. She had actually created a great deal of respect from the servants because she had emerged from the pregnancy relatively unharmed. But something was wrong. Something intangible, and it made him very uneasy. Sesshomaru was afraid that the next pregnancy would kill Rin, and there would be another one, of that he had no doubt. She had gotten with pup so quickly the last time . . .

It was for this reason that Sesshomaru refused to touch Rin. It was also for this reason that he had begun looking into every type of mating mark there was, but there were none with the power to extend a mate's life. Sesshomaru had been forced to come to the conclusion that this time when Rin died, it would be for good. It was something that he was having a hard time wrapping his head around. Ever since Rin had stumbled upon him, she had been by his side; whenever she wasn't, she was somewhere close at hand. Her death would take her somewhere he wouldn't be able to follow.

Furthermore, there was no precedent for this type of situation for him to use as reference. His father had died before his human plaything. Inuyasha had been placed under a sleeping spell moments before the first priestess died and the second one was still alive. Sesshomaru supposed the closest thing he could use for reference was when Inuyasha had been separated from his woman for those few years. He had noticed that his brother had not been himself: he'd spent a lot of time silently staring off into space, unusual especially for that foul, loud-mouthed half breed.

And yet his situation was very different from Inuyasha's because at the time, Inuyasha had not had been a mate to his priestess in everything but name. He did not have a pup with her. What was Katsumaru going to do when Rin died? What was _he_ going to do? Sesshomaru had a feeling that he wouldn't be of much use to his son for a while, and the last thing he wanted was to leave him in the hands of his mother . . .

Sesshomaru was pulled from his dark musings by his pup. Katsumaru came up to him and cautiously began to sniff at his nose. Sesshomaru realized belatedly that it wasn't a good idea to think about such things with Katsumaru close by and picking up on his every mood. He stood and led his pup further into the clearing. He would have to deal with whatever would come when the time was right.

* * *

><p>A few days later, Sesshomaru was walking past a door that Rin had left open. He saw that Katsumaru was outside, once more announcing his presence to the world. Rin stood close by, bundled in a heavy kimono once more.<p>

Katsumaru stopped his barking and started sniffing around for a spot to relieve himself. Once he found his place, he lifted a wobbly leg and started to pee. Rin squealed and started cooing at Katsumaru, who took it as his due. Once his finished, he trotted back to Rin and waited for her to pick him up, where he promptly assumed his human form.

Sesshomaru continued down the hallway, his face a little softer than it normally was.


End file.
